The Creature

This was a short story I did for my writing class.

I put my back against a tree and slid down to a sitting position. Today makes day three of being stranded in this large forest. I can’t believe the bedtime stories of the Creature that Mom use to tell were true. “Have you ever heard of the Creature?” Mom asked me for the first time.

“The Creature?” a six-year-old me asked.

She nodded. “They say the Creature comes and takes children away.”

I raised my blanket up over my mouth. “H-he takes children? Why would he be so mean?”

“Oh, the Creature only takes those who have done wrong.”

“And where does he take them?”

“To his land. He rubs his ruby eye, and you will find yourself in a strange land.”

Sure enough, it happened. I met the Creature not long after I accidentally broke my grandmother’s vase and blamed it on her idea of a dog, a three-pound chihuahua and my baby cousin. The Creature did not speak, he simply rubbed his ruby eye and suddenly, I found myself in unfamiliar territory.

I looked around to demand the Creature why he brought me here, but I could not find him. I heard his disembodied voice whisper his challenge in my ear, “Come find me at the Tower.” Not long after that, I had stumbled across a town’s magician who was practicing his green-colored-magic in a nearby forest. I explained to him my situation. He agreed to help me. He magically produced a map, a compass, and a pen.

“This path,” he said as he marked it in red, “is the quickest way to the Tower.”

I put the map and compass in my bag for safe keeping, taking them out whenever I needed to consult them.

And I followed the map through halfway the forest before I ran into any trouble. I heard a rustle in the bushes behind me. I turned around and was greeted by five cute baby squirrels. I kept my distance away from them, because I don’t know what kind of diseases they might give me. Suddenly, something warm and fuzzy landed on my face. I panicked. I struggled to get it off of me, when I did I found that it was an adult squirrel. He did not appear to have harmed me in any way. Finding the experience bizarre, I shrugged it off. 

The next time when I reached into my bag, I realized that the map and compass were missing. It must’ve been the squirrels. They probably stole it, drawn to how shiny the compass and how interesting the map looked--the only reason why they behaved so strangely like that.

I buried my face into my hands. How am I ever getting out of here? I have no sense of direction, no map or compass, and, by looking at the map, this forest in the largest in its region.

A rustle behind me told me to quickly get on my feet. Thinking it was one of those squirrels, I thought bring it on. What stepped out of the bushes, was not a squirrel. It was a man dressed in dark brown robes. I relaxed my muscles. “I’m sorry, I thought you were that pack of squirrels.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Squirrels?”

I waved my hand. “Never mind.”

“Very well, then,” he said as he began to continue walking.

“Um, actually, I need help. Can you show me the way out of here?”

He stopped. “Sure. Four pair of eyes are better than one.”

“What?”

“Usually, I have my brother accompany with me through the forest to keep an eye of thieves since I’m a traveling merchant. Now he’s staying home with his newborn child.”

“Like the squirrels?”

“What? No. Since my son isn’t here, I had to dress in dark clothes to camouflage myself.”

I nodded. “That makes sense.”

“My name is Michael by the way,” he said, reaching his hand out.

I accepted it. “I’m Kris.”

Then we both turned and walked side by side. “Now about those squirrels...” he began.

Author's Note

I welcome any constructive criticism.

Reviews

[Charlie]

Its goood but why for children

[Kristopher d. Taylor]

I, too, liked the imagery, and the accessible flow and tone to it. Line 7 you have blanked, did you mean blanket? The squirrels, I think that distracts from the story, because when I think of them I think warm and fuzzy and cute, not evil, unless its meant to be sort of funny, because I laughed.

Like the imagery alot and your detail. Not all that good with constructive criticism, i did enjoy reading this. you did a nice job!