Like Air

Breathe. It feels good! Air, what do we do without you?

Her presence is like air,
unseen, but always there!

Concealed, unlike
the flaring crimson fire,
Or soothing visible water,
even though devoid of color!

Like air, she lits up embers
in the ashes
Like air, she causes whirlpools
in the dead silent sea
Like air, she doesn't aspire
to be, on top of the mountain
rather moving no-holds-barred!

She is no trophy to be sought
Or chased,
but an existence to be felt!

Her movement is music to ears
like air, just traversing it's course!

She is continuous, uncontrolled,
unfazed by lack of recognition
however,
no one really denies her worth
The Earth knows,
Her absence is an unending vacuum
In Space!

Author's Note

Thanks for reading :)

Reviews

[BlackPrince]

This is such a beautiful poem.

'The Earth knows,
her absence is an unending vacuum in space'.

[Krutika]

Thank you 😊

[Norman 223]

You have created a " picture " of air in a way that makes it almost visible. I particularly like your way of giving "air" a personality. Bearing this in mind, may I suggest that as it is air that you are describing, you replace "like air" with something more direct, such as simply "Air". This will retain the "personalised" quality of your words, but not leave the reader trying to find a comparison with something else that you haven't specified. Apart from this, it is a well written poem with some clever descriptions of the power of air on everything around us.

[Krutika]

Thanks for the review! I really appreciate the kind words and the suggestions 😊
Well to give a little background I am actually comparing a person's (A lady actually who is referred as Her/She) character with Air.

I am trying to put across that some people are ' like Air ' whose existence might be so dull that for others they might not exist at all. But they are not passive, but actively trigger series of important events.


The main thought was ' Air does not wish to reach a particular destination, it just exists everywhere'. Such types of people are not fiction. Like Air, they do exist although not visible.

Sorry for this long post😁
But it's been a while since I visited here.. So was happy to find your review. 😊

And I agree just 'Air' would have done.. But I just wanted to put emphasis that there exists a lot like Air😊✌️

Again thanks for visiting 😊

[Norman 223]

Yes, I see that I missed your intention in this poem. Now that you have explained it, the words take on a new significance., Re-reading the first two lines in this context, does, in fact create a new concept. I therefore apologise and withdraw my "correction".