Why

Why do you deceive me

teasing me this way

you say you like me and yet

you stare at her all day

 

dont you know I love you

cant you see I care

'caus every time I see your face

Im caught back in your snare

 

I dont know why, or when, or how

i came to need you so

but every night I think of when

you left me all alone

 

my heart is not my own

I cant control it now

your the only one

I wish you knew just how

 

Author's Note

first poem...um...idk ;)

Reviews

[Red]

This poem may not be very deep, but I like it. There were a few spelling errors though, but they wern't big ones, so it isn't that big of a deal. Also, like most peoms, its about love somehow. Personaly, I'm not the kind of guy to read that kind of stuff, but this, I feel, was worth reading. This is just an idea: try and make the poems about other things, like hobies of yours or whatever, just don't always write about love and this goes out to everyone. Other than that, I rather liked this a lot. I gave you a 100/100. Keep up the great work!

[Poetic Beauty]

this is a simple poem about how it feels to be over looked when you love some one so completely. The flow of the poem is easy to follow. Over all this is nicely written.

[Ice QueenJen]

For your first it's pretty good.... but the ending might need some work or change. The last part I think would sound better if you change it to
"my heart is not my own

I can't control it now

you're the only one

I wish you knew, just how

Just a suggestion to correct some errors, really add some punch to the ending.

Jene

[FocusedAmnesia]

This was a good first poem. Simple, yet has a deep message [most] people can relate too. I'm not really a fan of rhyming poems, but it doesn't come across as if you tried really hard to make the words rhyme.

[Addie]

Ooh. I like it. Very simple but it still has a heartfelt message. I even know what it's like to be in a situation like that. Kepp up the good work. =D

[VincentRayne]

Nice. It was easy to understand and it can touch so many people. Great poem, especially for a first.

[Blue tailed kite]

Wow... this is a really nice poem... and for a first it is awesome. It flows really well and the words are very simple yet sincere. Loved it!

[little lily Bride of Ch..]

Nice Write love and bit of Romance i do Fiction romace poems and real ones i love this i am a Romantic and very passionate. Thank you for sharing god bless

[The Fatal Lover]

Wow. I truly loved this poem. The words flow perfectly and it makes you picture the things it talks about. Makes my heart yearn for someone to stare at me and love me. But great job. =)

[Linka and Lirrie]

I felt this was written very nicely, nice discription on how she feels about the boy and the way he seems to ignore her. Over all good job.