Emotion Potion

I close the door behind me

The safe space of my home left behind

And ahead lies the world

I take the first steps with my keys in my hand, 

ready to run back inside 

But I don’t stop, I continue to take the next steps 

I increase the volume of my headphones 

With the intend of drowning out the noise,

The people,

The fear.

Step by step I take big strides with my head up high and looking ahead 

Looking ahead as looking back is not an option 

Not an option I want to consider

I make it to the end of the street and decide to cross

The light flickers to green and wearily I cross

I tighten the clutch of my keys, counting the steps in my head

12,13,14….

18,19,20……

25,26,27……

I turn the corner of another street and see the end of the journey ahead

My keys so tight now that a red imprint has formed in my hand,

Emotions mix and concoct an emotion potion in my body.

Fear, pride, disappointment, excitement , sadness….

I end at the door where I  begun my journey

Relief fills my body as I enter the key into the lock.

I take one look at the world before turning the lock and entering. 

The door closes behind me and ahead of me lays the space that gives me comfort but comfort I do not feel. 

Safe yes, happy no.  

Consumed I drown in the emotion potion 

Gasping for air that the world outside my door offers but cannot give.

Overwhelmed I fall to the bottom, being swallowed whole.

My eyes slowly start to close and I can see the light fading in the distance 

I let myself be carried away to a place where all is good,

A true safe space.  

Author's Note

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