Innocence taken

It is what it is

Time laid flat of ups and downs ,
Of a boy once happy to a man whom frowns.
Darkness took away his childhood fun.
Now a man to tired to hide , to run.
Face his demons he must do.
From a happy child to man who stares at what makes him blue.
Playing with his brother making dens.
To man who scrubs but is never cleansed.
Never able to trust a soul.
His disgust at what happened has took its toll.
Tears of confusion of who he should be .
Inside my head only i can see.
Yet no hate towards those who hurt me so.
Time has past now , so long ago.
God will judge us as he sees fit.
Each day I move forward bit by bit .
Revenge , prosecution is not for me to accuse.
I am but one victim who was abused .
45 years old today I am.
Some days are good , some days hit with a slam.
I only share what my mind will let .
Understanding of me is how i wish to be treat.
Childhood days of playing out with friends.
To a man who wants his head to mend.
Answers I seek but nothing can repair .
The empty numbness and despair.
I see the room , i feel the pain.
I look in a mirror and she nothing but shame.
Sympathy is not what i seek to find
Only understanding of child still trapped inside mind .
I maybe awkward its my defence.
Of hiding the truth the disgust, the stench.
My world happened in a blink of an eye .
I lived my life, i lived a lie.
If its true only truth can set you free.
Then i ask the darkness to please let me be.
Time laid flat of a man whom frowns.
Moving forward please ! more up than downs .
The child thats kept inside my head.
The thoughts that make me wish I was dead .
It's time to try and let it go .
The childhood memories in my head that keeps me low.



Lenny Hart 3/1/2018