so, everything is fading

This just kind of... occured. Thank you Elliott Smith.

I almost forgot it was twilight.

'I know I'll disapoint you but,

I can't help but wish this to never end,'

I'm tied to this that I don't have.

I'm tied to this that I won't have.

'You're wonderful,

and it's beautiful,'

I almost forgot it was twilight.

Our lovelessness bursts into life,

As our eyes painted with sunset unite.

I've read about this,

and I've wished for this,

and I've damn sure dreamt of this.

And I almost, forgot it was twilight.

Maybe sometime, sooner and later,

My love affair with everyone

with everything

with nothing

 

 

can

 

fade

away,

 

I'll always forget that it's twilight.

Author's Note

Yeah, I need to cut down on the 'and's. And involve some form of rhythm.
Just pretend it's a story.

Reviews

[Lady Lazarus.]

I've read about this,
and I've wished for this,
and I've damn sure dreamt of this.

Is such a great 3 lines.incredible.
this poem is so beautiful.it really is.

ELLIOTT SMITH=

[celyn]

I don't think you should get rid of any of the 'and's or change the rhythm.
I think it's perfect as it is.
Really great poem. (:

[Wycked]

very good discriptors ...I agree with your assessment I think if you took out the and's and the but it would still flow wonderfully..:O)

[Luther]

thank you greatly for the comment on my poem "sorry."
it was greatly appreciated and warmly recieved :)
i honestly think this poem is absolutley gorgeous. it seems to be the most perfect style. it is the kind of poem i love to read. honestly. i think its beautiful. its real pretty and made me happy to read it.
i really dont think the rhythm needs to change at all, it seems to flow wonderfully and reads just like a poem should.
very good write, i really enjoyed it.
cheers
george xxx

[C K.]

It doesn't even matter if you "Don't get reviews from people who aren't your fr-LOVE LOVELOVE", you're dead good.

[A Spectacular Case]

I really like the rhythm at the moment Jaz, the last bit is perfect.
xxxxxxx