HeartBeat 1 Reluctance to Accept

chapter one of a short, adventure novella I'm writing Enjoy

Reluctance to Accept

            "With that guy? Now I know your joking." Jacquelyn said with a sarcastic snort.                   

            Her five foot eleven frame was two inches taller than the nineteen year old, Caleb, that she was referring to. The newbie. And someone she wanted nothing to do with, especially not for this new job she was assigned to.

            A taller, but thin African-American man named Bernard crossed his arms in front of her, which shifted his cool green tie. "Jacquelyn," He said, "You're clearly the best in your rank. Why wouldn't I choose you?"

   Caleb stood awkwardly in the corner, crossing his legs as he did so and felt a little rejected by Jacquelyn's reaction to him.

   "Tch. If I had let flattery manipulate me I wouldn't have survived this long and you know it." Jacquelyn said stubbornly and rolled her brown eyes. She ran a hand through her thick, fluffy red hair on the right side of her head. The side of her hair that grew out long, where as the left side was completely shaved off.

            Jacquelyn's attitude said it all. She was not up to playing babysitter on a job given specifically to her, revolving around her talents, and had a very nice pay if she could complete it. And knowing her, she would complete it. No matter what, or who, got in her way.

   Bernard's chocolate colored eyes flicked over to Caleb, tapping his feet on the linoleum floor and looking like a shadow in the low lighting. He wished that for once in her five years of working for him that Jacquelyn would just cooperate. She knew how hard it was when you first joined.

            "Jacquelyn," Bernard sighed, "I'm asking you to help Caleb."

            "I don't think-"

            "Jacquelyn."

            The red head glared and made a sound of deep annoyance. Given different circumstances it would have been almost comical to Bernard how Jacquelyn's small, round, freckled face could twist into such an expression.

            "How much of my pay is he cutting into?"  Jacquelyn asked.

            Bernard looked at her quizzically. "Half, of course. This is his job, too."

            "Half? Are you kidding? He gets a full half just so I can tote him around?" Jacquelyn asked in disbelief and turned her head to glower at Caleb.

            "Hello, I'm Caleb." Caleb said determinedly, trying to break Jacquelyn's cold exterior. Sadly for him, he didn't know that if you ate into Jacquelyn's paycheck the iciness was unlimited.

            "Yeah, I got that." Jacquelyn said acidly, "And I'm going to be the death of you if you screw up."

            Jacquelyn shook her head, "Half of my pay, just to get shuffled around."

            "Play nice, Jacky." Bernard chuckled, ruffling the right side of her hair as he brushed past her so the two could get to know each other better, "I've got some work to do, so you two can grab your info folder off my desk."

            Just don't let Jacky kill him before their even on the field. Bernard silently prayed as her got on the elevator that would lead him down to the eleventh floor.  

            Where Jacquelyn and now Caleb worked was in New York City. Manhattan, to be accurate. Or at least the building with tinted glass windows where they would receive new jobs and get paid from jobs they had completed was located in Manhattan, when in reality where they worked could change daily depending on where they were needed. And if they could make it back alive to the "Resume Résumés" building (the lower floors really did help people in New York write their résumés. It was just the top floors that were involved in other matters).

            Of all the people who had been approved to work at the organization where Jacquelyn and Caleb were employed and Bernard was CEO, very few survived past the first year from going out on danger based missions to protect and preserve the major cities within the U.S.

            If fifty people were to be approved all at once, within the first year forty would be dead. At the end of five years, as long as Jacquelyn had been working, nine of those people would be dead for certain and the last one has a twenty percent chance of surviving. And that was assuming any of the fifty would pass initiation.

            At twenty four years old, Jacquelyn had defused bombs, decrypted foreign codes, caught groups of terrorists from three different countries, dismantled raids, gone on private assassinations, done border patrol, coastal guarding, been a bodyguard for seven months, has seen her friends and co workers die, has severed all ties from her previous life, rewrote her entire identity and has fought to the death more times than she would like to keep track of. 

            And for Caleb, the newest official member, there is no turning back. Not once you join the U.S. HeartBeat.

 

Author's Note

please tell me what you think and if this sounds interesting. What do you think of Jacquelyn and just your overall view of the novella so far

Reviews

[Silent Wolf]

I think that this would make an amazing book! I would love to read more! Mind sending me a read request when you have more?

[Enigma]

Just gotta love Jacquelyn attitude! I honestly cant wait to read more. Sounds like Caleb is in for hell.

[RachelReaper]

Hell hath no fury compared to Jacquelyn LOLZ

[Enigma]

According to what you wrote? Got that right!! Haha!

[Castonovia]

Jacquelyn----cool. *Sadly for him, he didn't know that if you ate into Jacquelyn's paycheck the iciness was unlimited.* ~ favorite line, amusing. Very intrigueing, complex write, can't wait to read more!!! He doesn't know what he's in for, lol ;)

[W.V. Bard]

I really liked it, but the short descriptions were distracting rather than informative. Maybe either lengthen the focus on each character or simply state their name and position within the story/u.s. HeartBeat??
Additionally, you did REALLY great at dialogue. I had sooome problems following it but I'm retarded with names so that was probably why. But remember us retards when you're writing; we love to read good fiction, too!!!

[Craig2591]

Sounds exciting! And Jacquelyn sounds like a fascinating character.

Found your story in the Under Rated Novelists group.

[Britt]

Ohhh, cant wait to read more:D very good so far:)

[RachelReaper]

:) thank you

[Alexa Tasch]

It does sound interesting. I would definately read more.

[Pax]

sounds interesting my friend...and your digging yourself into stories now...keep it up...

[RachelReaper]

:D thanx

[:-)]

Sounds interesting so far. I adore the characters. :)

[deepblue04]

wow, this looks good, the story sounds good too

[RachelReaper]

thanks, blue

[deepblue04]

no prob