War of the Dragon Tribe = Theenii's Battle

It's about a huge battle my dragon had recently due to a harsh past. I was never told where the historic part happened so don't ask please! I hope you enjoy it. :)

About 36 years ago There was a large tribe of dragons living in an unexplored area of the world. These dragons were of all kinds mixing with one another creating all new kinds of dragons. 

The new generation caused friction among those who could produce more power to those who could use less. A huge battle broke loose separating most of them to random parts of the world, as the more powerful dragons continued to triumph. 

Over these years most of the dragons have been wiped out, causing the few left to blame each other causing even more hatred among them. About ten years ago an egg was laid in a small ditch in a neighborhood called The Vineyard in San Antonio Texas. The mother dragon entrusted a 6 year old magical girl Named Lindsey to care for her soon to be children.

After the mother died she had told the girl she wanted her child's name to be Theenii for ice moon. The dragon and girl grew up together while Theenii studied what her mother left never telling the girl of her families history. Lindsey would never knew of the past until yesterday,      6-14-11.

Theenii and Lindsey walked behind the house in a large forest, as always, Lindsey had to hear about Theenii's dragon friend Etz for about two hours. As they were about to return home a large white dragon tackled Theenii to the ground. With a roar as loud as Thunder Theenii threw the dragon off of her and flew into the air quicker then human eyes could follow. 

Theenii quickly blasted out fiery lava at this enemy dragon severely burning half of its body. As she began to speed towards the other dragon in reached out and dug its teeth into her neck and throwing her making a crack sound so large it was as if a building had fallen.

It blew out large chunks of sharp icicles at her  while she was attempting to stand slicing open her back. It slammed it's claw into her leg causing it to violently snap in half. The dragon gained an evil-like grin thinking it had beaten one of the higher powered dragons and began steaming at the mouth.

Just as it dropped it's guard Theenii slammed it's face into the ground with her tail and bit it's spine to the point of paralyzing most of the dragon. She then slammed it's unmoving body through the trees and left it to slowly move and survive with ought the ability to do more than walk.

Theenii won this battle but is severely injured and vulnerable to any new attackers that mite come her way any time soon. Slowly recovering Theenii continues to carry the legacy of her tribe.

Reviews

[Lady Xoc]

I like the whole idea of children working with dragons. I think, for the most part, the rule of thumb is: it is best not to give the backstory at the start of the story - instead let the backstory emerge as it progresses. I've read that you should either have a good hook (few sentences or paragraph) or a good action scene to start with. Maybe you could put the dragon attack at the beginning of your story:) Hope this helps.

[M.E.Lyle]

I enjoy a good story and this was a pretty good one. You have a wonderful imagination and story telling ability. Just a few misspelled words...not too many though. I should talk, I'm the worlds worst offender.

[Ben Campbell]

Awww, Etz is probably either bawling like a little child or brooding on how to get vengeance on a dragon who's already dead.... yeah dragon fights tend to be a lot shorter than most people would expect....... make sure Theenii tells Etz about the history part in detail he'll want to know that.
Very nice! As I said I'll try to not be biased.:) (unlikely)

[shoaib]

great story ! keep on writing : )