Can I Kiss You Forever?

The first kisses with someone special.

Can I kiss you forever?

You lift me away from the worries of my past,

Nothing else matters when our lips are together,

Your pillow-soft mouth caresses and tells me not to worry anymore.

Your hand on my face - a gesture of calm,

The world has stopped moving to give us this moment,

And the time to enjoy one another,

I only need focus on your beautiful mouth.

You make me feel young, fresh, new,

Like I've never been kissed - like I'll never be kissed like this again,

Your tongue slips into my mouth, brushes my teeth,

Tells me just to enjoy this time, to not let it leave.

For the first time in what feels like forever I feel free,

I can be me - your kiss reassures me,

- And I want to be me, kissing you all day.

Can I kiss you forever?

Reviews

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Hi Chris, Lovely sentiments in a soft love poem. It flows ok but a little crudely in places. It could be more passionate and a word here or there can change it for example:
You lift me away from the worries of my former life,
Nothing else matters when our lips are together'

may have more impact and feeling as :

You lift me away from the worries of my past,
Nothing else matters when our lips are pressed'

[Chris M]

I really like that change, John - thanks so much.

In truth I wrote this in a bit of a hurry this morning whilst laying in bed - it was a bit "stream of consciousness" and more about getting ideas on to the paper (pad!). I was hoping that someone with more of an idea of how to construct a poem would point out its failings - thanks so much! Will rewrite and repost. Appreciate it a lot.