I Cannot Fly Like You

I Cannot Fly Like You

A Poem by Lucia
"

...

"

A little black bird

Perched below the sky

Watches flocks of color

As they pass her by

She picks at her own feathers

So they might know color, too

Then humbly wonders why



© 2017 Lucia



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Featured Review

I like the utter simplicity of a short read like this.. You are like me. We can get so wordy and long-winded as writers, this is a nice inspiration to scale back and keep it simple for the reader and pack a more powerful punch, so to speak.

What I particularly like is the intrigue created by the line "perched below the sky." That is a little bit different than being perched on the typical mainstream branch that's "just for the birds"... So to me it conjured up the image of a wallflower of the bird while the busy stream of sky where all the regular birds fly is up above... perhaps dangling just out of reach..

Also, the part where she picks at her own feathers so they might know her color conjured up the image of a baby crow.. kind of an unliked bird, maybe one with a tarnished, bad reputation but misunderstood in her darkness. She has color too!

Posted 4 Days Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Simply amazing.im speechless.a powerful statement with only a few words.thank you.thank you.

Posted 2 Days Ago


I like the utter simplicity of a short read like this.. You are like me. We can get so wordy and long-winded as writers, this is a nice inspiration to scale back and keep it simple for the reader and pack a more powerful punch, so to speak.

What I particularly like is the intrigue created by the line "perched below the sky." That is a little bit different than being perched on the typical mainstream branch that's "just for the birds"... So to me it conjured up the image of a wallflower of the bird while the busy stream of sky where all the regular birds fly is up above... perhaps dangling just out of reach..

Also, the part where she picks at her own feathers so they might know her color conjured up the image of a baby crow.. kind of an unliked bird, maybe one with a tarnished, bad reputation but misunderstood in her darkness. She has color too!

Posted 4 Days Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This is remarkable, I like this one.
It has flow and meaning and depth.

Posted 1 Week Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Lucia

1 Week Ago

thank you! at the time I was writing so many poems that were way too wordy, slowing things down a pa.. read more
Awesome, love the flow of this.
I really like your style.

Posted 2 Weeks Ago



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107 Views
4 Reviews
Rating
Added on December 31, 2017
Last Updated on December 31, 2017
Tags: introvert, depression, obscurity, strange, isolation, lonliness

Author

Lucia
Lucia

Fort Washington, PA



About
I'm trying to turn my insatiable self loathing into something fruitful. more..

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