Born Into the World Again

Descend,
Just like the crimson leaves,
Gently on the autumn breeze.

Splash,
Into the calming seas,
Free your mind, and be at ease.

Drift,
Down to the ocean floor,
Hallucinating more and more.

Release,
Yourself from thoughts that pain,
Memories that seem to stain.

Reach for,
The hand that beckons you,
A friend, savior: that much is true.

Go forth,
To light, to air, to land,
To live and love a life so grand.

Act,
As if you've never known,
The pain, the hurt, that's surely grown.

Begin,
Anew, from sticks and glue,
Build yourself a body: you.

Say,
"Hello" to life's new guise,
Have fun, while you're still hypnotized.

Wish,
Yourself the best of luck,
And hope your time here does not suck.

Stand strong,
Your life, over it, you reign,
Born into the world again.

Reviews

[Lorraine]

I don't I've found your hidden message but I like the over all theme of your poem. It's meaningful and inspirational, as much as it is elegantly written. The one or two words at the start of each stanza create a sort of break/pause the further add impact to every stanza.

Keep Writing. ^___^

[Dylan]

I really like the setup in this poem. The 3 lines and the starting with one word thing (sorry about my word choice. I don't know many technical poetry terms) really standout to me. I loved the end message too.

[TTBoy]

Mason - as if you're being baptized...once you "reach" for it (come up), it should be there welcoming you. You don't need all those steps (Go forth, Act, Begin). You've already "released," now "say," and "wish" or pray. I like where you were going with this.

[Mason]

I made sure not to sacrifice any emotion. This whole thing flowed just as easily as any other poem I would write in the past. I think I'm just getting better at establishing rhyme and rhythm. However, this is far from perfect. For example, when I used "o'er it," that was pretty forced. So it can seem fairly distracting, and I hope to revise this in the future...

[StoryTailor]

Yes, I agree that some parts and pieces seemed more forced then others. The only thing I can give you to help that out would be some words:
"Poetry doesn't need anything other then the ability to project the poet's emotion to the reader"
When you have that, you have a poem.

Hope that helps any...?
It works for me, I mean. Though that might be simply because I'm the one who decided that for myself, you might work differently with your work.

It's a good poem! I enjoy reading pieces that say something really deep with small words.