Bathtime

Time for a bath...

Swirling spiral drain, spun round,
held by porcelain boulders.
Dammed by barriers,
of shinning glass.

 

Waterfall fabrics
shading darkened rooms
of singing and cleaning,
to old towels soaking
the flood water below.

 

Cleansing folly plastics,
lined by silver taps
spun in motion
by the weather man.

 

Out. The storm.
In. The drought.
Left. The boil.
Right. The blizzard.

 

All held in silence
waiting for the surge
of electric curlers...

SHOCK!

Reviews

[Shannon K.]

Hmm...I like it.
What I don't like: porcelain boulders, 4th stanza
What I like: Waterfall fabrics, everything other than what I said I didn't like.
I think I'm confused. You make this bathroom seem like, normal, but maybe above normal. I'm thinking this because you say silver, curlers, I don't know, just get a sense of really nice bathroom. But then you throw in old towels. I'm picturing nice, new towels in this bathroom. Oh well, It's still good.
S.k.

[Jaffa Forbes]

Interesting, you build up a complicated picture. Love the fourth stanza, really builds up the tension. Don't like the exclamation marks at the end though.

Jaff :)

[[untitled]]

Thats just too coool..

[Gandré]

this is pure darkness in the poem. Suspense of its finest. poetic and scary.

[Randall Richard]

didn't see the ending coming, very well done

[Crazy Cat Man]

it's an ok poem. nothing special. Didn't blow me away. You could do a lot better though. Keep It up.

[Lola Nation]

electric curlers - that is something I never would have thought of - spun cleaning spree 'eh?

hmmmn... contender for the contest.

[{Angel Redd}[Formerly A..]

lol, this is weird, but i like it. I've never seen a piece like this.

[Steven Silvey]

I like the ending, it's kinda unexpected.

I could swear that I've read this before...but I guess I'm just a little crazy.

[Charlie Bone]

chillingly wierd and oddly humorous.