Chapter 1

Chapter 1

“No!” I scream as the heart monitor flat-lines. There are no more comforting beeps of the machine that tell me she is still alive. The room fills with the haunting sound of death. I can’t hear anything else. Just that sound. The constant ringing. A simple monotone sound. Who knew a simple noise like that could be so powerful, haunting, devastating.

I tighten my arms around her as I cry harder than I have in my entire life.

She died in my arms. I had never experienced someone dying on me until now. I had only been a nurse for two years. I was practically a newborn, fresh out of college. But now, I feel like I just grew up. I am one of the adults now. Truth is, if this is what being a real nurse is like, I’m not sure I want to be one anymore. They don’t prepare you for this in college. No one can describe the feeling of having someone die in your arms. You might think, because you watched all the medical dramas on TV that you would be used to this kind of stuff. People dying. I used to love all the medical dramas as a kid. You couldn’t name one that I didn’t watch. Because of that, I always dreamed of becoming a nurse. I thought I would be prepared. I figured those fictional shows would prepare me for the real thing. Oh how naïve I was. I am not ready. I’m definitely not prepared. Nothing could have prepared me for this. This feeling of despair and hopelessness that is washing over me like a wave. A wave that is dragging me farther and farther away from shore. I feel like I am going to drown. I could probably drown on all my tears. 

The worst part is that she was so young. It feels so cliché to say that she was too young to die but it’s the truth. She was too young to die. She couldn’t have been older than twelve. Mckenzie, that was her name. She told me that on the second day she was here. On the first day, she was asleep. Someone had found her unconscious in a local park. She almost died because of the cold since it’s mid-January. The hospital tried to track down her parents with no success. She later told me that she did not know her parents. She said she had been alone her entire life. I promised her that if she survived, I would adopt her as my own. That was the first time I saw her smile. After I saw that smile, I felt the need to make her smile every day for the rest of her life. I wonder if that is how a mother feels? If so, I felt like a mother to her right at that moment.

I wish I had more time to be a mother to her. To be the mother she never had. And I imagined that, someday, I would find someone who would be the father she never had. However, I didn’t have time to be the mother she never had, or to find the father she never had. She was at the hospital for seven days. One week. I got to know Mckenzie for only one short week.

On the first day, she was asleep.

On the second day, she told me her name.

On the third day, I got assigned to another patient. I got to go back to her after she refused to talk to anyone but me.

On the fourth day, she smiled for the first time.

On the fifth day, I was able to make her laugh for the first time. She had such a cute laugh. I wish I could have recorded her laugh to listen to whenever I’m feeling down.

On the sixth day, we noticed something wrong.

On the seventh day, it was too late to save her. And I am left here, crying. I wish I could have gotten to know her more. I wish that I had more time. I had never been a religious person before, but, I swear, I was praying more than a nun on Sunday morning that whatever god is out there would let Mckenzie live. It wasn’t enough. I still couldn’t save her. And I’m angry at whatever god is out there that he let her die. He let an innocent girl die. That doesn’t sound very godly to me. I’m starting to think there is no god out there in the universe. Sure doesn’t seem like it.

She seemed to believe there was a god, however. In one of the brief moments I talked to her, she told me how she would go to a local church every Sunday. She really liked the pastor there, she said. The way she talked about him, it sounded like she really looked up to him. Pastor Shepherd, I think she said his name was. She told me that she would go to his church on Sunday morning then he would let her stay at his house for the day. She told stories of his wife Emily’s amazing meals. She said it was the best food she’d ever eaten. I imagine that she was not exaggerating when she said that. Even if it was not very good food, any home-cooked meal was probably the best food she had ever gotten in her life. I can picture taking her to a fancy restaurant here in Chicago. I can picture her face lighting up as the food is placed before her. I would let her order anything she wanted off the menu. I would let her eat the whole restaurant if I could.

I fell asleep picturing her smiling face. I dreamt that she was my daughter. I would pack her lunches and take her to school. I would take her to friends’ houses�"because I know she would have lots of friends�"and hug her tight when she got home. We would stroll in the park together on a summer day. We would go to the Lincoln Park Zoo and to the Shedd Aquarium together. I would read to her at night and tuck her into bed, leaving a light on to scare away monsters under the bed. I would call her my little princess and kiss her cheeks every day�"she would hate it as a teenager but I would do it anyway. There are so many things I dreamt about doing with her. I truly hope I never wake up.

Reviews

[BryanCX]

A great chapter, well written, most of it. Some part of the story confuses my, especially how you phrases your sentences. Suggest you to do more describing to the surrounding. Would like you to refine on this on. You have the potential to be a good writer. Keep it up.

BrX