FALL

Written - 7th June 2017

Beautiful are these days,

Blooming trees and light sun rays.

I feel like a bird with its wings on fire,

Soaring above the clouds Never to tire.

They watch me with wonder,

And from dust pick my feathers.

But its only thou gaze,

To which I'm tethered.

Mountains tower up each dawn,

And engulf the Sun.

Winds play with my heart, 

And I stand there stunned.

A fortunate day sometimes,

Even brings down the rain. 

Takes down the dust,

And also my pain.

 

I live each day Always standing tall,

Each time this year I fall in love with the Fall.

Author's Note

Open to critique.

Reviews

[OneAmongstMany]

I love the last line: "I fall in love with the Fall". Really beautiful!

My advice is don't try and force a rhyming scheme, I felt that the third stanza felt a bit forced the way you rhymed sun with stunned. Rhyme is weird in that it can just as easily disrupt a poem's rhythm as it can enhance it.

But overall this is another lovely piece of writing, and suited to this time of year! Thanks for sharing!

[Justina]

Its amazing. I love this poem.

[Nema]

Thank you Justina. Is there anything I can change to make it better?

[Justina]

In the 3rd part i dont understand when you say "winds play with my heart". Otherwise it sounds good to me. I read through it like 5 times to see if theres anything wrong but thats all.

[Nema]

Thank you so much Justina. This all means a lot :)

[Justina]

Your welcome