Alien Visitation...

It's a horridly dark night, and something has just arrived in the forest nearby... Too bad this wouldn't be as cool as it is in the movies. :P

                A woman, shaken to her core by fear, trudged through the leaf litter of the forest. Her steps were light, aiming to be unheard, yet she thought little of her phone’s flashlight  illuminating her path. Though she held a pistol, not fully loaded mind you, her terror was pervasive. This symbol of individual empowerment only gave her tension more reason to rise. At any second, she may need to fire. And these trees, these damn trees. The moon was unable to penetrate the canopy of these ancient and formidable columns. This forest, her fear, her inability to think beyond analyzing each separate moment for signs of danger, these things brought about what we seldom experience; primordial readiness and fear.

                She reached a rockface. This pile of stones rounding off in a raised plateau stood as a formidable barrier, and a golden safety-net.

‘Higher ground = good’ was all that could cross her mind which now acted on pure instinct. Thus, she began to climb. This began in a methodical fashion. Both her hands were preoccupied with her tools. She could afford to let neither drop in readiness. Thus, she would step, feel for security, place the butt of one hand for stability, and raise herself. Then a horror shot through her spine. On the ground, she could run. She could react. On these rocks she was vulnerable. In an instant her planned steps turned to a mad scramble. In her haze her gun went off, sending a bullet into the ether and allowing the echo to reverberate through to the unknown creature she knew was but a moment away. A shriek followed this echo, one she had been unwittingly preparing since her journey began. Her hands scrambled for a grip as her whole body joined the dash for the top. Then, she felt safety. Her fingers dug into the leaves and dirt at the top of this plateau as she lay face down. Then she rose, raising her phone, and realizing her gun was nowhere to be found. Her eyes froze on the barely discernable figure of her empty hand.

Leaves rustled behind her.

She turned.

She raised her phone.

Light illuminated the figure.

“Boo.” Said the alien. “PFFT AHAHAHAHAAHAHAH!!!!!” He erupted as she took off into the dark. “Look at it go! See ya!”

“DUDE!” A taller alien marched up behind him, waving his arms in astonished annoyance. He was covered in green stains and clutching some sort of tool. “ARE YOU F*****G SERIOUS, STEVE?? Now there’s gonna be more of them!”

“So?” Steve replied.

“Do you even remember why we landed here?”

“Uh…”

***Five minutes ago***

                Inside the alien’s ship a blue light begins to blink in the corner of their viewport. The tall alien raised his ‘eye brow’.

                “Da fak? Hey, Steve.” His chair spun around.

                Steve was staring out another window as he tried to do pull ups by gripping the wall around it. “Hey, Kevin.”

                “The ship says its fuel line is still set for backwards time travel.”

                “Yeahhh, I didn’t change that.”

                “WHAT??”

                “What?” Steve dropped from the window and turned to Kevin.

                “Why??” More in desperate confusion than anger.

                Steve only shrugged and mumbled a phrase vaguely reminiscent of Idunno.

                Only able to reply in stutters, Kevin turned away and sucked in a breath. “Happy place, work hard, promotion…” He said to himself. “Okay. We’re gonna park over there and fix it.” Kevin pointed to Earth, only to have another light blink onto the viewport. “Ugh… Right. People. Okay.”

***Three minutes ago***

                Our stalwart country friend sat on her porch, the only house for miles, enjoying the rhythmic songs of the night time crickets. Her eyes caught a small burst of shooting stars. With a smile she took a sip of her iced tea… Then one star changed course. It grew, and was soon wreathed in flames and barreled over her home. If she could hear the screams of the beings inside, it’d go something likes this;

                “GET THE F**K OFF THE CONTROLS YOU’RE NOT CERTIFIED!!!”

                “BUT THERE’S LESS DUMBASSES THIS WAY TO FREAK OUT!!”

                “BEEP BEEP BEEP, HEAT SHEILDING FAILING.”

***Now***

                Kevin shot his tool in a vicious point towards the smoldering, yet intact wreck of their ship.

                “Uh, duh. I know. I was there?” Steve passed Kevin as he sauntered towards the ship. “Sheesh. I thought you were the smart one.”

                Kevin restrained his wish to strike Steve’s exposed ‘head’ from behind and settled for speeding past him to continue repairing their ship.  To this, Steve responded by raising his ‘hands’, puckering his ‘mouth’, and spinning on his ‘heel’ away from the tightly wound jerk. Each went about their separate tasks, Kevin focusing as his upper body wedged itself in the ship, working deep within its bowels. Then, the crack of a small explosion rung in his ‘ears’. He removed himself from the ship, looking behind and seeing nothing. With new wariness he returned inside the ship. The gun, in Steve’s ‘hand’, slid slowly next to Kevin. Steve fired it.

                “WHAT THE FUH-“ Kevin slammed his ‘head’ into any number of gizmos that made the spaceship run. He ripped himself from inside ship and fell backwards.

                “Cool, right? I think the native brought it.”

                Kevin attempted to snatch the gun from Steve but Steve clutched his newfound toy, only to have it fire again, directly into Kevin’s ‘foot’.

                “OW!”

                “Oh, cool. Things come out of it.” Steve smiled as his new toy became more fun.

                Kevin only rotated his ‘foot’ in the air, calming down. “That’s… Mildly annoying.”

                Then Kevin heard a click. Steve was pointing the gun directly at him.

                “Aw… It’s out of energy.” Steve lamented.

                Kevin was now able to snatch the gun from him. “Good. Like we need more of these natives showing up.”

                “Who cares?? Spooking that first one was fun!”

                “Until you then have to greet them if a bunch show up, engage in politics” Kevin was now counting on his “fingers” as he spoke “begin relations, translate your speech, and then you may get stuck here as an ambassador or something! Remember Jeff? He came down here high on who knows what, now he’s stuck being one of their presidents.”

                “Aw! Dude! That was this planet??”

                “Yeah. Now we have to keep dropping supplies off for him every few months. So unless you wanna be stuck with these people, get in the ship and see if it starts.”

                Steve grumbled as Kevin pointed at the opening of the ship like a mother ordering her child to march.  Kevin now sighed and rubbed his ‘head’, then descended into the ship again. He held two tubes together as they fused together themselves.

                “GO AHEAD!” Kevin yelled.

                Steve, surprisingly, did exactly as he was told. She ship started up, the gizmos of the ship began to rearrange into what was, probably, their original positions. Kevin returned to the inside of the ship and sat in his chair.

                “Alright.” He said in relief as the ship began to rise from its crater and ascend to the canopy. Steve was fusing with his suit, feeling each pocket.

                “Oh wait, s**t. Dude. We’ve gotta go back.” Steve destroyed Kevin’s moment of relief.

                “WHAT?? WHY??” Kevin snapped around.

                “I forgot my phone.”

                “ARE YOU F****N’ SERIOUS, MAN!? No. You know what? No. We’re not going back for it. You’re a f*****g idiot. You made us crash, this is your punishment.” Kevin returned to his controls and the ship turned slowly towards the Orion constellation.

                “What?? But… Dude. My porn…” A single tear began to form in Steve’s ‘eye’.

***

                Three people, all in black suits, approached the crater. One looks up, and spots the ship as it disappears in the blink of an eye into the cosmos. Another reaches into the leaf litter, extracting an odd rectangular device…

                To this day the smartest minds in Nasa are still trying to decipher the images on this device.

Author's Note

Please tell me any and all thoughts, ideas, or criticisms, be they large, small, good, or bad. :)