When January Comes

Hopes for a new year

When January Comes

When January comes,

I wonder,

Will I feel the same?

Or fall back to my old ways?

 

When January comes,

Tell me,

Will it feel the same?

Enjoying the ride of this new phase.

 

Last year,

Fought the battles,

That forced the changes,

I had to make,

To bring chances,

Opportunities,

To offset,

This grumpy face.

 

Instead of letting those,

Who brought me down,

Win the fight,

And corrupt my soul,

To a level,

I can assure you,

That no one,

Would want to go.

 

A place with no feeling.

Where life has little meaning.

Countless problems,

No solutions or end in sight.

 

A long life evaluation,

Caused so much frustration.

It was clear in the end,

There was a need for new direction.

 

So no more,

Sleepless nights.

Rumination,

Of things I didn't get right.

Wasted time on journeys,

To destinations I don't even like.

 

Instead maybe a new language,

Some French or some Spanish,

Je suis et Je t'aime,

More of that I could manage.

 

Like the transition of the seasons,

Life can flow like a rhythm,

And there's  a lot more optimism,

Than one January ago!

Author's Note

Any reviews welcome

Reviews

[Stefano Segnan]

I will start with asking you two questions: why do you consider this to be a poem? What elements does it have that can be considered poetic? I stumbled upon some of those elements in a couple of verses, but in my opinion, they are not sufficient to call this a poem.

Next, some suggestions: you could have enhanced that refrain "When January comes / Will I feel the same?" later on as the story develops, with different verses between.
Also, try to leave the sense of prose out of it. For example "Wasted time on journeys, /To destinations I don't even like.", what does it make different from prose?

In the seventh stanza, check that "Rumination". I think it should be in the plural form because it goes "Rumination(s)/ Of thingS I didn't get right". Or it could be "Ruminating ON things".

Overall it is a good concept, with a decent structure, but I think you are much more capable, so keep on writing.

[Owen Aldin]

Thank you for your detailed feedback. I will take your suggestions into account and may incorporate them in future pieces if it fits.

In my eyes, poetry is an art form like any other to express how a person feels and interprets a topic of life. In this instance, words have been my medium. I would say my main concerns are not rules or restrictions as I have read some amazing work, each different in its own right and not bound by cultural norms. Each piece of feedback will push me on another level and help me develop a style so I appreciate your words and understand that this is not something that you would consider poetic.