Count to Three

A Story by Travis

A troubled person on the verge of discovery.

Count to three

I knew right from wrong yet I continued to test her. From the earliest days until my last I just had to test her. Why did I continue to pull her strings until there weren't any strings left to pull?
From the outside looking in you would think my lifes purpose was to put her on the bridge to extinction. I tempted her and in the end....well, it ended in my demise.

She was always there for me. For any question there was an answer. Any time I needed to open up to someone,
she was there to give me wisdom. The only friend that understood me so when she spoke, I listened.

She whispered, "Close your eyes and count to three". Sweat began to trickle down my forehead as I replied "one, two, three". On the count of three I open my eyes
and see that she isn't there. Vanished in the blackness of my eyelids like a forgettable dream awakened amid a
deep sleep. Then there she reappeared fading back in from the darkness. She said "trust me. close your eyes and count to three". Sweat begins to force itself out.

I close my eyes. On the count of "one" my thoughts begin to race. Like trying to fall asleep at 3 am on a school night but the electrical activity in my brain is working overdrive. The faces of my Mom and Dad are sad, angry, and confused. Never truly knowing me because of my permanent mask. My so-called friends crying only to make my departure about themselves. Attention w****s I call them. And my sisters who I barely talked to because we had nothing in common. Best friends to the core who continued to push me away. An all too usual feeling for me. The
feeling of loneliness begins to disappear.

"Two". The rapid beating in my chest begins to settle. A calmness breezes over me like a gust of wind over a wheat
field in the middle of summer. No worries, no cares, and no dreams equals pure essence. Then there she appeared in
my mind to interrupt my serenity. "Say three".

"Three". A sudden nudge is all it took to send me tumbling to my end. You'll be surprised with the amount of things
you can think about in a matter of seconds when your life is about to end. How I perceived my family. How they were
all actually there for me instead of the hypocrites I thought they were. My friends, how they made fun of me but were still there when I needed them. I never did understand friendships. And then theres my life. 'My life. oh f**k! What have I done? What have you done? You pushed me! Why did I trust you?'

Then the voice inside my head said, "The only person you trusted was yourself".