3 wishes

What would you do with blah blah blah read the f****n' thing.

(Guy strolls along some random beach somewhere, wondering just why is he even on a beach, when he stumbles, rather painfully, upon a lamp. The genie inside is too impatient to wait for the lamp to be rubbed, and springs from it.)

Genie: HUZZAH! I AM FREE!

Guy: Chill out; you're giving me a headache.

Genie(confused): I'm a magical being; aren't you at least a little excited?

Guy: Why would I be excited about magic? I'm an atheist.

Genie(still puzzled): ...But, I'm right here, talking to you.

Guy: I'm rather convinced by now that someone slipped something into my drink.

Genie(shakes head disapprovingly): Nevermind. You freed me, so you get three wishes. Unless you're too much of an atheist.

Guy: Hmmmm (scratches peachfuzz in an attempt to seem wise and deep) I know what I want.

(slight pause)

Genie(impatiently): Well?

Guy: You know of John Petrucci?

Genie(disdainful stare): I'm a friggin' genie. I know everything.

Guy: Tone down that huffiness. I want to be ten times the guitarist he is.

Genie: 'Kay, what else?

Guy: I also want o be a famous, respected writer. I want future high school and college kids to read my work and write cruelly long papers on them, while whining about how they just don't care.

Genie: And your last wish?

Guy: Since everyone wishes for world peace, I might as well jump on that band wagon.

Genie: It's done. I'd love to stay and chat, but you suck.

(poofs away)

Guy: I'm a good person. (thinks about how he's on a beach) Wait...how do I know my wishes have come true?

Author's Note

I wanted to step outside of prose for a second, so I came up with this, my take on the whole 3 wishes thing.

Reviews

[Closed Account]

I like the premise. Push it a little further! Happy ending? Or does world peace mean he's the last person on Earth and no one will ever read or hear him play guitar?

[Cassie Meno]

Haha a nice bit of brain candy humor based on a plot that everyone knows but nobody really questions. Love the last line and how it's so casual.