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"Sun-spots"

"Sun-spots"

A Poem by Steven

 

And it isn’t that
lakes of bodies swimming
or floating deadly
pond scum crumbling
sinks like bread like lead-like balls like
me like you used to
or anything--
 
It’s just that
I can't see far enough into where the ocean bends
her innocence as a dress
swept aside to have sex with the Sun in
shadows where he licks and caresses
and coughs
 
coldly.
 
 
He is dying, and his eyes shoot sharp mellow colors:
a mythical setting climax.
 
 
The other side of the world is shocked.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

© 2015 Steven



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Featured Review

i forgot how beautiful and haunting your work is... why don't have your published collection on my shelf? Send me a signed copy? Or just let me know when youre signing in NYC and i'll buy a copy....

I cannot see far enough into where the ocean bends
Her innocence as a dress

that image is wonderful. you are the master of playing with diction and sound - i wish i could do that...

ce

Posted 9 Years Ago


3 of 3 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

We are with the dying, bombarded by sense impressions and memories. There is an attempt to locate or rediscover a lost innocence amid a chaotic swirling mindscape of people and objects. The word 'coldly', starkly isolated, wrenches us from a reverie of love making, as it did with the Knight in Keats's La Belle Dame Sans Merci, who awoke to find himself alone on a cold hill side.

At the end, we, the readers, are in a state of shock having been drawn into a vortex and then abandoned to try to make sense of it.

Quizzical and unsettling, it has the strength of the lady's work you quote in the Author's note.

Posted 5 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

[send message][befriend] Subscribe
...
. oh wow ...
. this is quite a piece with a more than spectacular last line ...

Posted 5 Years Ago


somebody should always be shocked, I think I had to read that first stanza a few times before I could get it to rise and fall like you meant it to. Took a minute to wrap my mind around it. But I got there. There are some amazing things going on in this little piece of work.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

WOW! Awesome write, i like the image i got in this write, well written.

Posted 9 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Very cool stuff here. There's a lot to imagine. Love the natural rhythm in: Sinks like bread like lead-like
balls like / Me like you used to.

There's some scary stuff here. I like how I don't even have to know what's going on in his head, per se because the action is strong enough.

Anyway, I hope to spend some more time on this site.

Can you point out some other people to check out?

Posted 9 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

i forgot how beautiful and haunting your work is... why don't have your published collection on my shelf? Send me a signed copy? Or just let me know when youre signing in NYC and i'll buy a copy....

I cannot see far enough into where the ocean bends
Her innocence as a dress

that image is wonderful. you are the master of playing with diction and sound - i wish i could do that...

ce

Posted 9 Years Ago


3 of 3 people found this review constructive.


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716 Views
16 Reviews
Shelved in 3 Libraries
Added on April 26, 2008
Last Updated on March 8, 2015

Author

Steven
Steven

NY



About
I’m nobody. Who are you? Are you nobody too? Then there’s a pair of us; Don’t tell, they’d advertise, you know. How dreary to be somebody How public, like a frog To .. more..

Writing
Someone Else Someone Else

A Poem by Steven