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Darkness

Darkness

A Poem by Raghib

I say I find this darkness my home,
the light was just a fallacy.
A tale, it kindles some home,
A lie, we cling for support.
People of this cursed land,
Why pretend to not know.
This world too will someday be destroyed,
by a star it lovingly called its own.

© 2018 Raghib



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I'm in love with your last line "This world too will someday be destroyed,
by a star it lovingly called its own.".... scientific irony indeed..... superb...:)

Posted 5 Months Ago


Raghib

5 Months Ago

Thank you anonymous . May I know your name ?
things in the world for me and you duces 2 or naw 1 2 jus say i got you compilicated life ehhh wats that whos gonna make it dont focus on the world jus presume to move at the speed of liigtt this world is a flight gi he knos moi pause for a moment gudinees from who lol shh


Posted 5 Months Ago


Raghib

5 Months Ago

I didnt understand you much . Can you be more clear .
Darkness.......from where the world runs away! Light has it's glow cause darkness is there to compare it with. Hmm....... finding home in darkness is a palace away from that false 'light'
- Tahsin. Z

Posted 5 Months Ago


Raghib

5 Months Ago

A palace whose destruction I do not fear !
Powerful words. I don't understand what you mean by 'A star it lovingly called its own', Can you enlighten me?

Posted 5 Months Ago


Raghib

5 Months Ago

This poem is actually about how people cling on to hope to come out of the darkness in their life . .. read more
True words spoken. Nice read.

Posted 6 Months Ago


Raghib

5 Months Ago

Thank you dor your visit
I like the last four lines; they express a very interesting point of view. However, the first four lines just left me confused as to their meaning.
A nice try, though. I would just give some thought to reworking the first four lines.

Posted 6 Months Ago


Raghib

5 Months Ago

The first four lines talk about how darkness is right and light is wrong . I have added science and.. read more
Raghib

5 Months Ago

The dark can mean more things
The Iron Horseman

5 Months Ago

Understood, thank you for the explanation. Perhaps you could make this clearer in your first four li.. read more
Hmmmm. An interesting perspective. Nice poem

Posted 6 Months Ago


Raghib

5 Months Ago

Thank you for your visit .
• I say I find this darkness my home,
What function do the words "I say," have that makes them necessary? Isn't presenting "I find this darkness my home," "saying it?"

• A tale, it kindles some home,

You lost me here. I know you have intent for the meaning the reader should take from the words. But your intent doesn't make it past the keyboard, and the reader has only what the words suggest, based on what those words suggest to them, based on THEIR background. To me a tale is a story. So you just said that any story will do. And that's so broad it's hard to relate to what has gone before.

kindles: which can be taken as starting a fire or creating interest.

some: which is indeterminate and could mean one, an infinite number, or anything between.

home: a a place, be it real or metaphorical, as in line one. But it cannot be divided, so you can't have "some" home. And how it relates to being comfortable in the dark is too vague for me to make any meaningful connection, no matter how I assign meaning to the preceding two words.

In short: I think you need to edit from the seat and viewpoint of your reader, not with the intent of the author guiding you.

Posted 6 Months Ago


Raghib

5 Months Ago

For your first point about me adding "I say" .
It shows that its my belief and others may or .. read more
JayG

5 Months Ago

• For your first point about me adding "I say"

That's your intent. But remember, i.. read more
Raghib

5 Months Ago

Yes I get your point . Thank you for your review !!
those who live in the darkness have that knowledge that others who wear sunglasses will find their world eventually fall to that same darkness...maybe that light is just a fallacy.
j.

Posted 6 Months Ago


Raghib

5 Months Ago

Yes . Maybe ! Thus world is full if questions which are answered by the word - maybe .
This is beautiful and well-written. The only line I wasn't particularly fond of was line 6. I think it could be rewritten to communicate the same meaning in a more eloquent way that fits with the rest of the poem. I really love the first line and last two lines the most.

Posted 6 Months Ago


Raghib

5 Months Ago

How about me replacing it with
"Why pretend to not know" ?

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Added on February 9, 2018
Last Updated on March 30, 2018

Author

Raghib
Raghib

India



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