Darkness

Darkness

A Poem by Raghib

I say I find this darkness my home,
the light was just a fallacy.
A tale, it kindles some home,
A lie, we cling for support.
People of this cursed land,
Do not pretend you don't know.
This world too will someday be destroyed,
by a star it lovingly called its own.

© 2018 Raghib



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Reviews

True words spoken. Nice read.

Posted 5 Days Ago


I like the last four lines; they express a very interesting point of view. However, the first four lines just left me confused as to their meaning.
A nice try, though. I would just give some thought to reworking the first four lines.

Posted 6 Days Ago


Hmmmm. An interesting perspective. Nice poem

Posted 1 Week Ago


• I say I find this darkness my home,
What function do the words "I say," have that makes them necessary? Isn't presenting "I find this darkness my home," "saying it?"

• A tale, it kindles some home,

You lost me here. I know you have intent for the meaning the reader should take from the words. But your intent doesn't make it past the keyboard, and the reader has only what the words suggest, based on what those words suggest to them, based on THEIR background. To me a tale is a story. So you just said that any story will do. And that's so broad it's hard to relate to what has gone before.

kindles: which can be taken as starting a fire or creating interest.

some: which is indeterminate and could mean one, an infinite number, or anything between.

home: a a place, be it real or metaphorical, as in line one. But it cannot be divided, so you can't have "some" home. And how it relates to being comfortable in the dark is too vague for me to make any meaningful connection, no matter how I assign meaning to the preceding two words.

In short: I think you need to edit from the seat and viewpoint of your reader, not with the intent of the author guiding you.

Posted 1 Week Ago


those who live in the darkness have that knowledge that others who wear sunglasses will find their world eventually fall to that same darkness...maybe that light is just a fallacy.
j.

Posted 1 Week Ago


This is beautiful and well-written. The only line I wasn't particularly fond of was line 6. I think it could be rewritten to communicate the same meaning in a more eloquent way that fits with the rest of the poem. I really love the first line and last two lines the most.

Posted 1 Week Ago


love and pain,every thing changes

Posted 1 Week Ago


i like the poem, it shows how there is darkness in life. a good poem very well written

Posted 1 Week Ago


There is a reflection of honesty in your words. I love this poem a lot, it's true and effective.

Posted 1 Week Ago


You are right my friend. Honest and direct thoughts. I did like them. Thank you for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

Posted 1 Week Ago



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Added on February 9, 2018
Last Updated on February 9, 2018

Author

Raghib
Raghib

India



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