i don't know

i don't know

A Poem by Rain
"

Just things that make me sad..

"
nothing is sadder
than a vacant play ground
with no children's laughter
just weeds all around
and rusted old chains 
they hang in the wind
with a bent metal gate
that no-one comes in
the city rushes by
everyone's on their way
nobody notices
that no children play
and it's so sad to me
so sad to see
i don't know..
 
my soul is touched 
by an old pawn shop
filled with the dreams
someone lost/someone bought 
they sit on the shelves
they hang from the wall
they were somebody's memories
on sale for us all
they all have a story
a history to tell
you only need money
to buy lives gone to hell
 
and it's sad to me
so sad to see
i don't know..
 
there's a feeling i get
when i see old folks stare
are they looking for dreams
that one time was theirs
there's a bitter sweet sound
i hear now and then
it plays at the start 
it plays at the end
how fast our time goes
you can never slow down
our dreams fade away
while we lose what we found
 
and it's sad to me
so sad to see
i don't know..
 
 
 
 

© 2008 Rain



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Featured Review

Hi Rain, I love this piece, as I do all your writing. But this one is particularly poignant. I remember when I was a young mom walking my babies down the street, one on foot the other in a stroller. And old people leaning on walkers would stare and smile. They must have been remebering their dreams past, and small children, and saying to themselves, "I went there once." Oh, you have made my cry again, Rain!

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

I love this, I remember glancing at the pawn shop windows and watching the elderly people wondering those same things. As I still do. Time is an amazing thing.

Posted 7 Years Ago


Hi Rain, I love this piece, as I do all your writing. But this one is particularly poignant. I remember when I was a young mom walking my babies down the street, one on foot the other in a stroller. And old people leaning on walkers would stare and smile. They must have been remebering their dreams past, and small children, and saying to themselves, "I went there once." Oh, you have made my cry again, Rain!

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Rain you are one of those special people among us who walk through life with eyes wide open and record your observations in the most beautiful way to share with others. You see so much more than your eyes show you - a rare gift.

I have just begun to read your work, but I must admit I am quite smitten with the style of your writing. You are able to impart such sadness and melancholy with your well chosen words that it becomes palpable. The rhyme is gorgeous and is so well integrated. I adore this wonderful poem.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

very good work- the theme of loss running through out is a powerful thread. loss of innocence as well as community, loss of memories and dreams, hopes and desires, and youth. Love it.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I like the lyrical qualities this piece has. The subtle rhyme worked for me, as did the chorus. I think that you make some very powerful statements here. I think that the idea of no children being allowed to play because of the way that the time we live in forces us all to mature so quickly and forsake innocent youth in order to start making profit as early as possible is criminal. I think that the flaws of today's society are hitting us younger and younger and that is causing a major problem. Pre-teens are going out and getting pregnant, or high, or drunk becuase that is what life teaches them. I think that by examining the remnants of a time where lives were good and people were allowed to just play instead of the pressure to be an adult looming forever overhead is a good thing. Well done.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

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You see and write with a clarity, but what a price to pay to write like that. Each minute treasured and the smallest things I am glad that you can make others see and feel.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This is sad to see yes! I like this cause it tells truth it's clear with honesty and heartfelt emotion that is vivid to see every day. It's a sad world out there these days. But we live it to what we make out of it as well. This is very well written and presented.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This really brings up so many good points. There are so man thing out in this world that need our TLC. Great poem!

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I love this, we writers I think take on board so much of what we see, the pawn shop, the elderly people, and you weave a story of what brings sadness just by observing...........I like you look at old people and see their dreams may have slipped by, or loved ones have passed on, it makes me so sad to think of the solitary lives some of them lead..........and yet we all seem to follow a similar path...........beautiful work Rain.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I am hoping that I am not going to show up twice here in the same review. LOL The Cafe seems to be wanting to play games with me this morning. I guess this is take two.

You put your readers exactly where your heart and mind is at, with each piece that you put before us. This one I really loved because with so few words you have painted the picture of so many saddnesses that few would take the time to see.

Your stanza on the Pawn Shop really grabbed me. I see my daughter having to do this all the time and she has so few things of value to loose, and most times that is exactly what happens. As you said, so many memories are the possesions of others hearts to be bought for a pentance of monitary value not to mention the emotional ties. Hmmmmm do I feel a write coming on. Maybe.

Wonderful as always Ray. I love stopping in here.

Blessings,
Lesa

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on October 21, 2008
Last Updated on November 15, 2008

Author

Rain
Rain

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