Anonymous Boy

A Poem by Tiffany

Can you lose something you never really had in the first place? A poem about a girl finally becoming fed up with a guy's mixed messages.

Dear You-Know-Who,

I’d like to personally thank you for adding to the long lists of my frustrations.
I’d like to thank you for being the only boy on the planet,
To make me cry the way you have.
I appreciate the fact that
You were the first one I’ve ever had such a deep feeling for,
But do I really appreciate the fact
That you’ve got me writing crummy poems?
No, not really, my friend.

I hope you’re doing well,
As you can see, I am quite swell,
Sitting here,
Pouring my heart out for you.
Well… it’s a start.

Thank you so much for all of the good times
When I thought I couldn’t possibly feel happier.
These times will last a lifetime in my mind.
I never thought that I’d be as close to finding you as I did.
I appreciate the fact,
That you’ve occupied the space in my mind
For endless days, nights, hours, minutes, and seconds.
Believe me,
You’re the only one who occupies that space right now.

I’d especially like to thank you,
For all of the bad times,
When my paranoia and heartbreak grew,
To an unbelievable amount,
And everything suddenly seemed unreal.
I never knew just one person could drive you crazy enough
To the point where your answer to everything
Lie in your tears and anger.

Anonymous boy,
I appreciate the fact,
That I sound so bitter now,
As if you had thrown me off a cliff,
Or ran me over with the car you don’t have.
But how can you expect me to feel happy,
When you’re off with another girl I wish
Could be me?

Then again, anonymous boy,
Some of this is my fault too.
You’re not all to blame,
Don’t worry.
I should’ve opened my mouth again,
Put my heart on the line again,
See where we could have began,
And see where we could have ended up.
Because clearly,
This has really gone nowhere.

I thank you from the bottom of my heart,
For the countless times your presence brought me satisfaction,
All it seems to be bring me right now is grief.

Seeing you around makes me long for
That old familiar feeling I had for you.
Times when my eyes would dilate,
And my whole body would just freeze
Out of pure anxious feeling.
Nothing else could compare to
My heart practically beating out of my chest.

But now,
There is nothing.
I’ve forced myself to repel you.
All those times you’ve hurt me,
You might as well call me Jaded Tiff.
I can proudly admit now,
I was a fool.
The Muses have finally spoken to me!

I don’t regret it all,
Oh, anonymous boy,
I really don’t.
Maybe this is a blessing in disguise, I don’t know.
Maybe one day things will change,
You never know, my dearest friend.

Thanks a ton for the memories, the heartbreak, and the paranoia,
It was a reaaalll time eater.
I hope you’ll care enough someday to have a little more perspective.
(Sigh.)
Sometimes I wish I could be like Sylvia Plath,
And claim that I made you up inside my head.

Sincerely,
The Hopeless Hoper