Hopes- What would we do without it?

A lesson out of a rat hole!

  I sighed again as I climbed down the stairs. Another tiring day of hopeless dreams is right ahead of me. I opened the gate and let myself out into the dirty street. Bustling noises of the new morning was no longer interesting. No, I am not a failed writer nor am I someone looking for a job. But there's no rule that states that those are the only people who can feel free to feel sad-I am a student- a student who never learns from the signs life put in front of you. I never took time to learn my lesson. Maybe that's why I'm doing this again- or maybe I'm going mad.

  I almost reached school when oops- I forgot my lunch money. I had to go back home again and get it. It wasn't like it was that far- just a few blocks away from school. I was stupid enough to go back there to get it. I went upstairs and my mom gave me a stupid look. I said "Forgot my lunch money mom" and walked past her. "Why don't you have some money with you always?" she asked me. I gave her a nod and went back downstairs when suddenly I screamed my heart out. It was a huge rat! It was racing past the floor. I saw it! that ugly mass of dirt! My mom rushed downstairs yelling "What is it Priya? What is wrong with you?" and I pointed in the direction the rat ran. "There was a rat!" I said taking in a deep breath. "Come and have a glass of water honey" she said and pulled me. It wasn't like I would be late to school or anything, I was often the first kid to reach there every morning.

   After four glasses of water, I felt better. My heart as still beating fast. "Man that creature is smart" someone said- it was my dad. He was having a stick in his hand and was looking at the floor. "Could you drop Priya off at school dear she is a bit tensed" my mom said. "Tensed? why?" he asked giving me a stern look. It was my turn to speak up. I narrated to him my little adventure and he reacted by rushing outside yelling "Its in the garden?" It certainly did seem like I was walking to school.

  School, as usual was absolutely disgusting. I didn't hate school before- before I entered in all those singing competitions. I have been in thirteen of them now, and that too in the same year. I've only been in this school for two years and have had my share of disappointments. In the previous school I was the best singer but here I'm one of those who have the voice of a pig. I know I sound good, I just need a chance to prove myself.

  Half the day passed in a usual manner. I happened to pass by the notice board on my way to class. My eyes gazed through the messy arrangement of phrases and ads when something with a treble clef sign on it caught my notice. Another inter school music competition. I wanted to be a part of it so bad. I stood there staring at the piece of paper for a while when I was intruded by a voice "Want to join that one too Priya? You never give up do you?" It was my rival- well she wasn't my rival anyway because she always won and I never even got picked. I smiled a dirty smile at her and walked away ignoring her silly comments. She sure knows how to annoy someone.

 I reached home early that day just to hear my dad narrate his little rat adventure. He had previously spent a lot on fixing the water supply line of our house the day before. But it seemed that a certain rat found its home, a rat hole in the midst of the wet cement that was left there to dry. The silly rat had damaged the pipes and my dad was after the rat to find it and kill it. But the rat had been too smart for him. Either that or he was too dum for the rat.

 I slept well that night and even had a beautiful dream of a huge bulldozer chasing me. I fell into a deep hole later. I woke up at the sound of my alarm ringing over my head. I dressed up and was off to school again. I went past the notice board again. This time I also saw a note written aside 'Students willing kindly meet the music teacher' and the last date was mentioned as three days from that day. At that moment I was sure that it was time to give up. I just couldn't go up that stage again and be sure I have not a chance, I just couldn't bare any longer the pain of seeing others win when all I could do was clap for them and shout their names in fake support. I was ready to give up. For anything in the world. And so I did.

   I was sad the rest of the day- and when the music class finally came, the teacher said to me, "Priya why have you not taken part in the music fest yet? you are usually the first person I see here after the announcements" and I said, "I don't think I'm any good at this singing thing sir, I think I've given up" and he said in surprise, "Give up! what is that supposed to mean? No one should give up. Giving up something good for you is like suicide. You are a good singer and you need this chance to prove yourself" he said. I said I'd think about it.

  I reached home to find two strangers beside the water supply pipes digging and making the existing mess bigger. My dad was standing near them. I asked him what was wrong and all he said was this, "That rat never gives up. It has collapsed the entire system and killed itself in the process." I didn't know what to think. When a rat tries to find itself a home among millions who hate it, we want it to give up its hopes and run away. But when someone who has no chances of winning wants to give up, we want them to keep trying. Why should not the rat keep its hopes up? Is it because it is not human? Why should I not give up? Is it because I am not a rat?

 If a rat could venture to fight for what it wanted till death, why can't I- a five foot tall homo sapien do it?