The Other Asronauts

Say we concede those maniacs are correct -
that snap-style instrumentation has zero defects,
that nemomite boosters won't collapse at liftoff,
say their fancy neofoam really gets down,
Say if the spark ignites we're lost to their glory.
Say CNN gets pumped - does a story.

Say they've big buck backing.
Say that's what we're lacking.
But say our rocket is leaner by 44 sprockets.
And say our luck is in the old family locket.

Say their trig patterns prove
50 cast iron monkeys can cruise on
a springboard of titanium
and sizzle through outer-space
with one click of a switch
and the grace of a doe.

Say they have reformulated the bad O-rings,
Say the air shafts will seal (this time).

Say they have removed the fatal burrs,
that their tiny drinking straws won’t collapse,
that each firing pin is triple-Teflon wrapped
say they inspected
and swear it is true.
Say they rise on lift-off morning
like cocka-doodle-do.

Say en route they don't meet a mad Martian crew
or get sideswiped by a you-know-who,
or StarBoy 728 (Yes, his permit went through.),
or get sucked up in the Big Black Hole
that screams their name and number.

Say their rear fins are not fibrous.
Say we smile for our fins shine.
Say in our express discretion,
we would never use their kind.

Say their astronauts are no flakes,
that their helmet is not on backwards
say none of the 429 valves will stick,
although it happened to 33 last time.

Say instead of bullfrogs they’re
heroes pining for the moon,
Say this batch is the smartest crew yet and did not draw the shortest straws.
Say a micron gasket doesn't give way in that rough moon air
and preserve them in their tracks, right there.

Say the bullfrogs are now sweeping across the starry terrain
say liftoff blast is sustained and they have made contact with Ground Control
saying all is well,
Say their pride starts to swell.
Say something can’t go wrong.

Say not a one breaks his toe on that twist-about bevel
Or snags a hot wire at the 21st level
much less on that nasty power pack.
Say to see them screw up on CCTV
would not be one helluva thrill.
Say we work around the clock - on schedule and as planned.
Say unlike them, we don't fund our stuff
with shady beach-front land.

Say post-victory catering is already in the wings
Say infinite rows of smoky mini-wiener things
cradled in ultra-soft buns,
Say honey-glazed buffalo wings -
(Say buffaloes fly) -
and tasty spaceship cake - say this.
Say all the trimmings will beat the band.
Say big time karaoke planned -
and say it will be a sold out crowd.
Say the ceremony will be too damned loud.

Say we weren't invited.
Say we don't care.
Say we are the enemy.
Competing for the same thin air.