Blood Night

story

 

“Ugh...” I groaned, turning on my side. Why couldn’t I go to sleep?! God, I hate this house! Turning again, on my stomach, I felt something cold run down my spine. It felt like metal.

 

“Damn it John! Quit! I’m trying to sleep!” I mumbled into my pillow. The coldness disappeared, but I could feel something in the atmosphere that didn’t belong. I didn’t have a second thought about that.

 

“OH MY GOD! QUIT IT JOHN!” I yelled as I felt the coldness run down my neck.

 

“Wha’?” I heard him say, from across the room.

 

“Very funny! Stop messing with me!”

 

“What??” He said more clearly.

 

“What?.. Hah! Like you don’t-” I was cut off by John’s terrified scream echo through the room. The bedroom door swung shut, and I glanced at John’s bed, on the other side of the room. He was doubled over, coughing and spluttering, while clutching his throat. He was coughing up something dark, and I couldn’t see what it was. It was too dark in the room.

He moved his hand, and I saw his throat cut cleanly open. He tried to say something, but he was cut short, when an invisible knife struck him in the back, slicing all the way through. That’s when I started to scream. Then I saw him.. her? Someone else was in the room other then me and my brother. My brother was dead now… He had fallen over onto the floor, having tumbled off whenever the knife was removed from him.

 

“Now, you’re gonna die slow…” a harsh voice whispered into the darkness. It sounded soft in a way, but I didn’t pay attention to that. I screamed louder and I jumped out of my bed, raising my fists, to defend myself. “HAH! Hahahaha,” The guy bust up laughing, while watching me try to fight him.

 

I had stopped screaming, and he had stopped laughing. I glanced around the room, trying to find a way to escape. The door was closed, and locked, I assumed. The window was on John’s side of the room, and that was the only window in the room. I was a goner for sure.

 

I saw the knife glisten in the ray of moonlight that shown through the window. I backed up into the desk and felt the real fear wash over me. I watched him raise the knife high in the air, about to strike me down. I felt the pain, before I saw the cut. I screamed loud and hard, clutching my left shoulder. I grabbed the closest thing on the desk. A pencil. It was fairly sharp, but not sharp enough to draw with. It was the only defense I had though. He came down again, this time slicing farther down my left arm, almost cutting it off. Screaming hard and tears streaming down my face, I stumble and fall. He knelt beside me, and moved my hair from my face. I snarled and smacked his hand away.

 

“Ew... Feisty!” He smirked. I snarled again and rolled out of the way, whenever he came down with the blade. “Hmm… A fighter! Haven’t had a fighter yet!” He mocked.

 

I gasped in shock. “Yes, yes, I have killed more! Don’t look at me that way! That is sooo offense!” he said, putting on a fake look of being offended.

 

I remembered I had the pencil. I waited for him to come over to me again. Breathing hard, I wipe the blood and sweat from my face. Tears were running freely down my face now. He knelt down beside me again, and touched my face again, I cringed away and whispered, “You won’t get away with this…”

He laughed, “Unfortunately for you, I have gotten away with it, several times.”

 

I felt him shift his weight. Now! I almost raised my arm to stab him, but the blade of the knife was suddenly at my throat. It ran across my neck and I felt warm liquid drip out of my neck. I moaned, as the burning pain reached me.

 

“Very good…” he murmured.

 

This is it.. I have to do it now! Now! NOW! I shouted at myself as the knife slid over my head, cutting my forehead open. “UH!” I grunted as I forced my hand through his arms and the pencil stabbed straight through his chest.

 

Sirens began blaring in the distance and were soon sounded outside the house. The door swung open hard, slamming into the wall. “PUT YOUR HANDS ON YOUR HEAD AND COME OUT SLOWLY! YOU ARE SURROUNDED!” Someone shouted from the hallway.

 

“He’s dead… Or something…” I groaned at them. People rushed in.

 

“You ok?” someone said to me. I felt a small needle prick my arm.

 

“Yea…” I managed to murmur before I fell into darkness. If I was going to live, I was perfectly fine.

 

 

 

Author's Note

First try at a horror... Is it good?

Reviews

[William Usry]

Great job, you did a great job of describing and "showing" the action rather than telling...I only wished it were longer. I feel you would do great to expand this piece...add some developing action, maybe the killer's slow stalking of the characters, and let us get to know our characters a little more. You really cut to the chase on this one which made it very readable, but I think it would be even better if you gave us some context to surround this powerful scene.

[Anynomus]

it was wonderful sid i love it

[lawrence bear]

this was a great piece, now i wonder if she had her throat sliced, and if she lived, you left it as though she was ok, but i think she died killing her intruder.. great writing.

[Casper Cross]

More great writing shadow... I loved this. You could give me a little more description about where they are and who John is. I thought maybe it was her husband then she mentions something about his bed so I wasn't quite sure.

Great slasher piece, nice job.

[Winter Poison]

Oooh, I liked it. I felt that the dialogue was a bit unsophisticated at certain points, but the main idea of the story was really driven home. Good work! The color of the font goes really well with the theme of the story, too.