better

an old haiku suite i wrote during a much angrier part of my life.

I ate an apple

a day and got pills from my

new psychiatrist.

Reading the three words

"you are beautiful" written 

across your mirror

won't keep your fingers 

out of your throat when you eat

way too much dinner.

And when they tell you

to "take a mental health day"

they're really saying

"come back tomorrow

with a mask on that ugly

face you keep making."

Reviews

[Death's Poet]

I love the idea of this. I think it's very solid and profound. My criticism would be the formatting. The way you broke up the lines make it a bit awkward to read. However, that could be intentional and if so, then ignore that. But I really love the words and the idea, the way you put it together is just a bit hard to figure out

[Shayan]

I totally agree with you. It does sound a bit unnatural when read line by line. At the time I wrote this I found it was easier for me to get started if i followed a specific format. So I basically used the formatting of haiku (5/7/5 syllables) to create a prose poem. i wasn't trying to create a great haiku suite in writing this, it was more of a guideline i used to help me get started. If i were to write something similar to this now, I would probably do it differently.
Thank you for the feedback! I appreciate it.

[Death's Poet]

Of course! Like I said, beautiful sentiment though :)

[Davidgeo]

You're a some kind of genius.

[Aesthetic Trash]

I love everything about this.

[Shayan]

thank you! :)

[L.M. Hanewald]

Very moving. The flow is a bit awkward, but I'm guessing it is completely intentional. Especially regarding the content, it works completely fine, and almost brings the perfect mood to the peice. I really did enjoy this.

[Shayan]

thank you so much :) i'm glad you enjoyed it!