Time to tear up the roots

Finding the words to say what I want is hard
Mainly because I never wanted anyone to know how I felt
And when you left
I was left with all these things
You planted an idea in my head
Let the feelings seed until they grew to be untamable
And now it’s all I can think about
My favorite color is green
I know you know that
But just in case you forgot
Just like you forgot who you were
In that time i tried to clip the weeds in my mind
The ones you planted
Remember that
And I tried to forget that my shoe was untied
But then the seed resprouted overnight
This time it came back wild
I never thought I would
But I watered them
I tended to my unfair feeling of despair
Pretending that you even cared in the slightest
Letting it grow so big that I no longer can contain it.
And I blame myself
When you’re the one who planted the seed
And watered it first
But then you decided it was no longer made for you anymore
Because what was more important
Was you
I get that but how can you just leave a plant to die
Do you still remember asking me my favorite color
Because I do
Your jacket was always my favorite
Until I saw it on you
But it wasn’t you
It was
But not you who planted the seed
But it was you.
I wish I had listened more
Maybe you’d still be tending to the now crabgrass of thoughts in my mind that grows wildly
Until I combust because I simply cannot hold anymore
My favorite was always green
Except for the one day I said blue
That surprised you
Why would you do all those things you do
You ever rode a bike in a snowstorm
That was rhetorical because I know you have
For me
Just tending to the seed
Over and over
But none of it was enough to stop you
From being you.
Now I have to get the chainsaw
Considering the plant became a tree
Roots and all
Sticking out of my chest
Cracking my rib cage
It runs deep enough that it’s gonna be a b***h to de stump now.
Thanks.