Crack Crack Crackers!!

By Ichi Shin

It goes like this; 

far across the sky the sun sets, 

darker it gets, cicadas I hear 

a flash appears, a U.F.O? 

ears go numb, stings; crackers lit,

darkness overwhelmed, sparkles everywhere. 

Choking slowly, the smoke rises 

on the knees gasping for air 

blurry the vision gets 

blank goes the mind... 

so kids, don't burn em hard.

Author's Note

This is a work of my friend Ichi Shin. He won't put his work forward so I took the stance.

Reviews

[AprilRN1210]

cute and entertaining.. would thing I did notice..
(chocking slowly,)... did they mean "choking"?...
also love the title, but you know I am a sucker for alliteration.. firecrackers can be dangerous..

[AprilRN1210]

"one" not "would"... dang typos.. lol :D

[Sindu]

Thanks April. Will correct it. Haha..Yup knew your weakness ;)
Typos should be banned with a code or something

[AprilRN1210]

you're welcome.. glad I could help.. and yea.. everyone who knows me, knows my weakness.. :)

[Sindu]

Hehe yeah !!

[Surya pradha]

conveys a good message. didn't burst any crackers for diwali this year.

[Sindu]

Thanks surya. Good job

[Pushkar Prabhat]

your friend is a budding poet.
convince him to join this site.
nice poem.
i liked it.
:)

[Sindu]

Isn't it! He is on this site. That is his user name. Ichi shin 👈
Thanks!

[Pushkar Prabhat]

found him! :)

[Rounak Jain]

This one is thoughtful, considerate for kids, imaginative. I enjoyed reading it. I was about to ask what Ichi Shin is but now I know what he is. :)

[Sindu]

Thanks Rounak! :) so you found him?