The Waters Are Calling

She looks ahead
At the infinite blue
Suppressing and hiding
Secrets untold, unheard

She feels the waves crash against her
As she cuts through their flimsy existence
A not - so - substantial substance
Wondering how many have cut out their way
Through her
And how many more will
Thinking if all her depth is an shadow
So shallow
That all her people
Stop by, dip their feet, and move on

She treads on the soft pebbles
And dwells on her stoned dreams
Tripping and stumbling
Pressured into an existence
Unknown, unwanted

The waves push against her rage
With one of their own
But every watery crash and pull
Seems to pull away with itself
One more selfish thought
One more disappointment
Another bit of the darkness that has settled over her

A new adventure calls to her
From the flooded crevices of the sea-bed
Inviting her to lose the imposed
And forge herself anew
Discover one-ness 
And forgo the body that chain her to a gone reality
To be a stream of consciousness
Mingled, with the waters
Floating to the unknown
To find herself, in her own depths

She looks ahead, a moment too long
And with each of her retreating steps
She traces the trail, leading her
Away from a freedom
To easy to earn
Too difficult to accept

Author's Note

The prompt was water.

Reviews

[Scott Andrews]

My word that is incredibly vivid. The sea can provoke such strong thoughts and emotions, as it has a life of its own. I love the introspection as she looks at the water before, not feeling intimidated, or shrunken by the greatness of the ocean but more recognising something of herself in it.

Water has the tendency to do something we cannot. It reflects who we truly are, and sometimes we don't always like the results. You have captured a disharmony in her spirit. A longing for change. I remember when my marriage began to breakdown and I would often flee to the coast with my dog to do my thinking. It's a feeling I recognise, and that you captured brilliantly.

I feel her pain in the way she seems to have lost herself. I think it happens to us all from time. I love the way you edge the poem towards darkness but pull her back from the brink of oblivion. You have told a story that many of us can relate to and I think that is the hardest thing to write. To find a truth that you can share.

Just one pointer:

1: "A shadow not An shadow" If a word begins with a vowel that it should be an, otherwise a.

Well done for a wonder piece of writing :D

[Enigma]

Thank you for your kind words. I look back on my writing from that time with a strange pride because I've lost that skill now and can't write the same way anymore. I'm glad that you enjoyed reading this and I thank you for taking the time to leave such a wonderful review.

[Cascara (aka Sprint Goe..]

lovely images wre put into my head!

[rivers]

Beautiful poetry! The metaphorical notion of the waters force is well done and carries though congruently throughout the context of thought. Deeply emotional journey that I find quite moving and easy for this reader to relate to.
"Inviting her to lose the imposed
And forge herself anew
Discover one-ness
And forgo the body that chain her to a gone reality
To be a stream of consciousness
Mingled, with the waters
Floating to the unknown
To find herself, in her own depths "

I love your wonderful though so eloquently penned...A most excellent poem...