Set In Motion

She stared at him, her lips curling up at the corners. I bet it kills him, not knowing what happened to the beautifully innocent smile that he always used to claim he lived for. His one hand was in a tight, shaky fist at his side, the other holding a cigarette.

 

It was too easy to empathize for him. I wanted to be next to him, making him feel better. God, I hated my stupid feelings. I wanted to punch him, hate him for not telling me about her being back.

 

About her even being alive.

 

But I couldn't, and I could only hate myself for it.

 

"You ruined me." He says slowly, trying to appear unaffected and nonchalant about her being here, but he couldn't quite bring himself to fully pull it off. It was too easy to tell that he was acting, trying just a little too hard. And she definitley noticed.

 

I shuddered, the gun in my pocket rubbing up against my side.

 

He took a long, shaky drawl on his cigarette, probably hoping that it would stop his hands from shaking.

 

A full-blown smirk spreads across her face. In half a second she snatches the cigarette out of his hand and takes a long drawl herself. But something about what she did had just seemed wrong. Off.

 

"I couldn't have ruined you anymore than you already had been even I had given a damn enough about you to try." She says on a breath, and he flinched, like her words hurt him. Of course they did. "You were already damaged goods."

 

She blew the smoke from her mouth into the air, and they both watched as it faded into the dark black sky.

 

Her face softened for a second, and she bit her lip and pouted. "Jake, honestly. You want an apology, and I can't give you one. All of those damned creatures deserved to die."

 

She hands him his cigarette back, and a strawberry-colored imprint in the shape of her lips is left on the end. He throws it to the ground and grinds it up under his shoe, and mutters something under his breath.

 

"You think that all of those people deserved to die? You're a monster, Jen." He screamed.

 

In a flash she had grabbed his throat.

 

"Don't think for one moment that I won't kill you, Jake. Not for one second." She hissed, and her eyes flashed red.

 

I whipped out the gun from my pocket, hands shaking, and I pulled the trigger.

Reviews

[Marianne]

I really like your style of writing. You grasp your characters emotions perfectly. I've noticed here (and i'm not sure if you've done this on purpose) you start the sentence off with third-person pov, then jump to first-person pov, and back again before ending with first-person pov. It is best to stick to one pov, so your readers connect better with your characters and the story. Now, you sound great with either first or third-person pov, choose which one you're more comfortable with. Some writers tend to write first-person pov's and then change the 'I' to a "She/He" to help themselves flow better when writing. I believe the flow of your writing is great, but you will notice the difference once conquering your desired pov.