To Mend a Fractured Heart

To Mend a Fractured Heart

A Poem by Star

look through my eyes
the smile that lies
and says that
i'm okay

break past my walls
and feel the pain
of your attempts
ricocheting back

all the hate
all the hurt
toppling, tumbling
onto your frail body

my sorrowful tears
rushing out
turning to blood
and drowning you within

but instead
of being crushed
you take those fractured pieces
and repair my broken barriers

instead of sinking
you float atop
and swim to shore
right back to my dreaming consciousness

where you grasp the two halves of my heart
to make them one again
and for once in my life
i'm okay.

© 2014 Star



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Featured Review

This piece just bleeds through the read...the focus and the words as you read them as a reader...takes you into the moment...I would add this in the one stanza to give a touch:

all the hate
and the hurt
toppling, tumbling
onto your frail body
---
all the hate,
all the hurt,
toppling, tumbling
onto your frail body

the "and" dissolves the effect and the "all" gives more a punch like the first line...since your really not letting go and pushing this to the limits --- until the ending...

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Star

3 Years Ago

Thank you! I'll fix it right now. I sort of tried not to repeat words because I might have ended up .. read more
Glen Yumang Manese

3 Years Ago

you're welcome...at times --- usage of the repetition is warranted...in this case...I understand wha.. read more



Reviews

This poem was beautifully sad, ending happy. To be healed again by the touch of two hands after all of that pain, wonderful. I enjoyed reading this today.

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Star

3 Years Ago

Thank you, I'm glad to hear. (:
Nice i like it. Even though i'm not a poet reader, the title caught my eyes.

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Star

3 Years Ago

Thank you very much!
This piece just bleeds through the read...the focus and the words as you read them as a reader...takes you into the moment...I would add this in the one stanza to give a touch:

all the hate
and the hurt
toppling, tumbling
onto your frail body
---
all the hate,
all the hurt,
toppling, tumbling
onto your frail body

the "and" dissolves the effect and the "all" gives more a punch like the first line...since your really not letting go and pushing this to the limits --- until the ending...

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Star

3 Years Ago

Thank you! I'll fix it right now. I sort of tried not to repeat words because I might have ended up .. read more
Glen Yumang Manese

3 Years Ago

you're welcome...at times --- usage of the repetition is warranted...in this case...I understand wha.. read more
I loved this!! It really seems to define the word "poetic" and it has a wonderful flow. Good write!

Posted 3 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Star

3 Years Ago

Thank you, I appreciate the feedback!

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Stats

279 Views
4 Reviews
Rating
Added on May 25, 2014
Last Updated on May 26, 2014
Tags: love, broken, fix, heart, mend, hurt, pain, sorrow

Author

Star
Star

About
Hello. It seems as if you have stumbled across a 14 year old Skyrim geek who is slowly succumbing to her obsessions over anime and Tumblr. Either that, or you probably found me from dA or PMC. If so, .. more..

Writing
Wonderland Wonderland

A Poem by Star


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A Poem by Star





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