The Merry-go-round of life

The Merry-go-round of life

A Poem by Melanie Genevieve
"

This is a bit different from my normal stuff. Here's something completely unrelated to my life for a change. lol

"
We took turns on merry-go-rounds
waiting for bridge jumpers to look our way
confident we were in the money

truth of the matter is
you'll always be a turtle ahead
I, a rabbit behind

As the scenery changes
our past will be washed away 
by sunsets of girls and boys

they'll take hold of the reins 
betting on the nose 
you're the key to their future

while I sit and feel the bright paint
crumble like the sugar I never tasted
You'll be stepping off the carousel 

into her arms



© 2013 Melanie Genevieve



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ANM
Great use of words, we are what we are!

Posted 3 Years Ago


A clever write, Melanie! Thank you for sharing.

Posted 4 Years Ago


This is a really awesome poem! I like the reference to the Hare and the Tortoise, too, where the embodiments of the slow and steady turtle ("you") and the fast, impulsive and overconfident hare (the speaker) convey the moral also present in that story. I also sense a theme of growing up in here, with the sunsets of girls and boys referring to the sunset of childhood.

The only thing I have to point out is purely mechanical in nature- the line "they'll take hold of the reigns ." I believe you mean reins. [= Reigns are what kings have- think of the g in there as for kinGdom, kinG or kinGship. [= Reins control horses- or people or people's lives in a metaphorical sense?

Posted 4 Years Ago


This one sort of reminds me of a song by one of my favorite bands (Fair to Midland). At any rate, you do have those moral twists with the mention of the turtle and the rabbit, and your stanza about their futures. I like how you broke that line from your fifth stanza, and turned it into one that stanza alone. That delivers the motion of getting off of that Merry-go-round for good.

Posted 4 Years Ago


What a sly and amusing write; slipped in a moral or two, as well, you sneaky poet!

Posted 4 Years Ago


Melanie Genevieve

4 Years Ago

heeheee I'm really happy you caught that :D Thanks for stopping by!

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5 Reviews
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Added on August 6, 2013
Last Updated on August 6, 2013
Tags: carousel, merry-go-round, love, heartache, life, turtle, rabbit, bridge jumpers, sunset

Author

Melanie Genevieve
Melanie Genevieve

Freeport, NY



About
I used to keep my poetry private until my good friend Shabad encouraged me to read a poem (Curiosity) out loud at Sip This Cafe in Valley Stream. Since then I decided to make my writing public and ge.. more..

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