Spires of science

Spires of science

A Poem by TLK

There was to be a tomorrow for us to share, but we ate it yesterday: greedily and with cream. I remember your face lit by the candlelight, so hungry for rebellion -- only as we swallowed the last morsels did we realise that hunger would have its revenge, a consequence of today's emptiness. Guilt sits heavy in our stomachs as we dream of the spaceships that have not been built, the spires of Science that we cannot contemplate while dreaming of technological emancipation. I held your hand and there was an old spoon still curled within it, I kissed your mouth and our promises still curdled in it. We could have had years together to watch progress unfold, but instead we burned through our possibilities with reckless passion, and its embers now grow cold.

© 2013 TLK



My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Featured Review

Hey TLK - hope you've been keeping well. What a fantastic piece. "the spires of Science that we cannot contemplate while dreaming of technological emancipation" - the word awesome has never been so appropriate.
I'm sat here in the dark watching Fight Club and this really sent my mind off on one and I'm quite enjoying where it's ended up.

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Great piece you captured reality quite well


Posted 2 Years Ago


Such a vivid and impacting weaving of words you have penned here. I love the story withing the poetic expression. The heartbreak and loss is ever so clear. Nicely penned.

Posted 2 Years Ago


I loved the idea of this poem that sometimes our greed ruins everything leaving us in the dark to regret forever...Great piece..!!

Posted 2 Years Ago


I looked at three pieces labeled as "poems" in your body of work, and they all had the same form as this one - do you really prefer prose poetry, or was this a formatting error?

I like the idea of eating the "tomorrow" - is that the resources of tomorrow, the energy? I also love the "with cream" that becomes "curdled" later on - does that happen because the cream has aged in the mouth without being swallowed, or because there is sourness in the mouth? After all the eating and emptiness, though, the "Guilt [sitting] heavy in our stomachs" is a little jarring and feels slightly out of place.

The science idea feels a little on-the-side here. I understand the connection between the science and the "tomorrow," but the beginning of the poem feels more "relationship-y" to me, if you get what I mean.

Posted 2 Years Ago


[send message][befriend] Subscribe
ReD
Very well !..a unique lesson to describe how the world is badly obsessed with technology

Posted 2 Years Ago


Very humanizing..which is much needed in a world obsessed with Technology and Rationalism.

Posted 3 Years Ago


Hey TLK - hope you've been keeping well. What a fantastic piece. "the spires of Science that we cannot contemplate while dreaming of technological emancipation" - the word awesome has never been so appropriate.
I'm sat here in the dark watching Fight Club and this really sent my mind off on one and I'm quite enjoying where it's ended up.

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I have enjoyed this piece, tomorrow never comes until it hits you in the face...?, a great sketch of humanity, and consequences, if this was the purpose behind it.

Posted 4 Years Ago


A good piece, TLK,

the last words, and its embers now grow cold, they were unexpected for me, I don't know why.

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

1211 Views
22 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 1 Library
Added on May 30, 2013
Last Updated on May 30, 2013
Tags: greed, hunger, gorging, guilt, curl, curdle, progress, embers

Author

TLK
TLK

Birmingham, West Midlands, United Kingdom



About
Signed up to the Pledge to Civil Conduct in Discourse on Writer's Cafe: please challenge me if you think I am breaking either the letter or the spirit of the rules. I try to review well myself (see.. more..

Writing
Tram lines Tram lines

A Poem by TLK



Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..