Awaiting

Look at me

And tell me what you see

No matter what you say

I can tell you it's wrong

For what's happened

It's got a fair share of pros and cons

I'd go through the pain

To be happy again

But it's so much deeper than that

It can't even be explained

The coniving skin that brings tears to me eyes

The betraying organ that doesn't allow me to scream out my agony

Because no one understands

And I don't expect them to

It's so hard to fathom

What my life would be like

If you were just gone

Cut away and thrown on the scale

Knock off those extra numbers

Because this isn't me

But a parasite

Bringing my body down

The gate won't open to let him in

But I'm trying so desperately to shove the key in the lock

And let him take me places I've never been

As he'll look at me with those awkward eyes

With an exteneded hand through the fence

Silently he'll beseech

Come out, come out

Let me touch your heart

I can't tell him why I've stopped myself

I can't tell him why I'm unable to live my life

But I have the key in my hand!

The outside is right there

But I must stay within this skin

That eats my brain astray

Hating myself

Rejecting myself

Along with the love that holds my heart

Put the key back in its hiding place

This isn't my time depspite the sobbing nights

I still have to wallow and timelessly wait

And I'll go away where I'll curl up and sleep

Sleep until the day I'm lighter and higher

Until the day I'll let those awakward eyes behold what is underneath