Irreplaceable

another layer

I lost something that is irreplaceable – a piece of me died those two days

And unfortunately the process that lead me here is irreversible

Now I’m faced with carrying the guilt with me for the rest of my life

As I work to simplify my life, it only seems to get more complicated

I can’t even look back and claim that the sacrifice made was worth it

Should never have been forced to make that decision

I can’t say that the rationale behind it was justifiable

Unjustifiable bias due to emotional attachments

I can’t say that it was the right decision when it pains me daily knowing that it wasn’t

Curious as to how I make peace with this – I can’t

I have to carry that with me – I have to carry that with me

Not one, two, but three stars extinguished before they even had a chance to shine

It pains me… I blame me… I hate me

How do I then look her in the eyes knowing what we lost

How do I face that which I’ve come to know and understand so well as though it were myself

Or do I let it go – let it fly

Wishing I had the answers but I don’t

All I have is a pain that will not go away and an empty space where something once existed

How do I move beyond this point

I wish I knew, but I don’t

All I can do is stand firmly by something I believe to be the real deal

Someone that I know to be the one

 

-tides

 

Reviews

[Lena]

WoW what a lost you must have suffered to find words as deep as these. I felt the pain, the regret and the desperation to hold on now. Vivid and moving, I enjoyed it.