tears

How many tears have you cried today?
Not enough, because I haven't
I'm torn between shouting down and letting go.
I don't want o feel pain, but I have no choice.
How many tears you have cried today?
How many times did you cover your mouth, with your cold hands so they won't hear your sobs.
How many times did you wish you were dead?
I'm still, here so obviously not enough?
The beast inside me want to come out, but I cant let her or else I'll go crazy
Tell me, how many tears have you cried today?
None, one, two?
I've lost count.
Because my tears are not tears
They are the vicious waves of a river Trying to break through the dam I call eyelids.
But I hold the monster in
One breathe
Two breathes
Three breathes
Four...
And then,
I'm fine again