This Strange World

see if you can understand it :-/ im writing a poem series about the life of my dog... from its point of view. this is how i think it goes...

Sniffing, licking, biting, sleeping, pooping, 

that's all I've ever known

started off in a brown box

i can't believe how much I've grown

i still remember that day

these people came and got me

suddenly i was in the back of a car

had a sudden urge to pee

waited till the door opens 

they open up my cage

what happens next? 

well you'll have to wait and see next page...

Author's Note

hope you like it

Reviews

[Call_Me_Miss_Imperfect]

Awwh, Chris I really like this poem! It's unique since I've never really read a poem based upon the point of view about the life of a dog. It's a cute idea though! I've always wished to know what my dogs and cats are thinking. If we knew every thought crossing their minds, life with them could be a little be easier. Don't you agree? A dog most of the time has a horrible life! That's why it's good to find those pet lovers that take good care of them. We're good examples since we have six. We feed, water, and walk them every single day. This is the first piece of yours that I've read and I enjoyed it too! It's quite impressive. :)

"they open up my cage
what happens next?
well you'll have to wait and see next page..."--that's so adorable!

Ashley Rivers--Dream BIG and you'll win BIG ;)

[Christopher Booyakasha]

haha! thanks so much
im glad you enjoyed it. part 2 will be coming soon.
Thanks!

[Call_Me_Miss_Imperfect]

You're welcome! Of course, and sounds great:)

[Rita L. Sev]

You know, I am always wondering what my dog is thinking - and I believe you have captured her earlier puppy thoughts here. Very endearing!

[Christopher Booyakasha]

Thanks! yeah i was suppose to continue this somehow. but i never got around to it.

[Frieda P]

Ha my comments took me here but I don't remember reading this...glad it happened though, this is unique to say the least....and I think i know that guy! Kudos.

[s y e]

LOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

This was UNIQUE bro ;-) Haha. I liked it. It vas gooooood

[Christopher Booyakasha]

Thanks!

[s y e]

Welcome very mooch kind sir :-P

[Christopher Booyakasha]

*bows*

[s y e]

Haha, yes! You got that right! BOW BEFORE YOUR QUEEN!

[Christopher Booyakasha]

*looks up* How are you say you are over me?? lol

[s y e]

I AM THE QUEEN OF WC! DO NOT QUESTION MEEEE!
tee hee

[Christopher Booyakasha]

Well, I'm apart of the rebellion! haha! Rebels for life.

[s y e]

Nope, you're not. -. - Only I am. Don't invite yourself, its rude, didnt yer mumma tell ya? Hehe

[Christopher Booyakasha]

You can't be the rebellion! your the queen! I'm the rebellion!

[s y e]

Aeeeee, I'm Confuzzled -. -!

[Christopher Booyakasha]

sigh just forget it!

[s y e]

NOOOOO! Tell me pweaseeee xP

[Christopher Booyakasha]

sigh. you are the queen right?? so you own a kingdonm. and I rebel against the kingdom! The rebellion.

[s y e]

Well DUH! I am! :-O Oh, youur eviiil! Sowwie, im getting tired xD

[Christopher Booyakasha]

Lol. yes i am. And its cool!

[s y e]

>.< *walks away* Talk to the hand!

[Christopher Booyakasha]

No you didn't

[s y e]

I did. *walks away*

[That_Girl]

lol never seen anything like this. Interesting. You know what?! I kinda like it! ;D

[Christopher Booyakasha]

Oh yeah! it's gonna get better. i'm writing it in parts. part 2 is coming soon!

[That_Girl]

Schweeeeeet. :)

[Natasha]

this reminds me of the book "my life as a dog" - i didn't read the whole book because i felt it was for a younger audience and got bored with it, but this poem definitely reminded me of the book from the point of view of a dog..

it's great that you thought of something like this--don't think i've ever reviewed a poem with a dog as the main POV.. i think this poem could easily be made into a story actually--a short story of sorts perhaps??

[Christopher Booyakasha]

yes. i was thinking i could make it into a short story, but i didnt want to cause i was scared i'd drift off the point.

[Natasha]

naaaah, just don't make it took long, maybe it could be like two pages?? and add in another dog or a cat or another animal to interact with and the could go on some adventure through the alleys..haha not sure, something like that?

[Natasha]

too long***

[Christopher Booyakasha]

yea ok. im going to try that out. thanks :-)

[Stammers]

I'll give some feedback, by all means, feel free to totally ignore every word. I'm not exactly an expert. I'm exactly not an expert. So, please read them as thoughts out loud.

The last two lines, you don't need in the poem, I don't think. Maybe place them in the author's note for now? Also - it seems to me you're going for a narrative driven poem, in which case the whole 'beginning, middle, end' might be a good guideline, if a little tired.

As it stands this reads as a prologue with not much in it, almost as if it cuts short of anything happening. If you wanted a poetry series around one character (the dog) you would still need each poem to stand on its own as a separate entity.
If you want just a little prelude poem to introduce all of your other's this may work, though if you ever revise it, maybe give it a more grandiose beginning; I think of Tolkien's introductions that really clear their throats and 'introduce'. I like that sort of stylized voice. Personal preferences.

You've obviously found an idea that could be a lot of fun to develop and gives you endless opportunities for humour, word play and imagination. It really could go wherever you wanted it to go. Congrats on the idea and keep hacking away at it.

[Christopher Booyakasha]

thank you so much!

[Empty Spaces]

beast bro,beast

[Christopher Booyakasha]

thanks bro!

[Fabian G. Franklin]

That's MY life and I'm not even a dog! lol

[Christopher Booyakasha]

haha! i know right?!

[Fabian G. Franklin]

cept i had to hire a lawyer to get me out of the cage...lol

[Christopher Booyakasha]

lol i understand. you gotta do what you gotta do

[Fabian G. Franklin]

whoooooo now that's funny.

[Christopher Booyakasha]

how?

[Fabian G. Franklin]

Oh, I was talking bout the lawyer...but you are right...we gotta do what we gotta do.

[Fabian G. Franklin]

Oh, and I meant to say...I got it was a dog right off...so good work! I liked those movies about Homeward Bound where the dogs talk and Bruce Willis was the voice for the bulldog.

[Christopher Booyakasha]

Oh yeah! i love those movies!