Wasp wings and other dark things

I'm not typically into writing dark, but wanted to try something different. For some reason, wasps have always struck me as having a dark, evil side to them.

Peering through a wasp wing
at shadows on the wall
Hear the whispered whimper
echo down the hall
Glass thump of bone and feathers
against the bedroom window
Motes of darkness floating
to air a moldy winnow
Creak of standing knees
arise in opioid haze
To wander past the shadow
and sniff of death's bouquets.

6/11/14

Reviews

[JackValor86]

I agree with tree, very Poe like. I like that last rhyme "haze" and "bouquets" I'm a big fan of poems that make vague portrayals of horrific things for the mind to wander in.

[Tree]

Your technique here has a traditional, Poe'ish like flavor, and in retrospect the wasp does present itself as something other than benign, more like, sinister. You captured that nicely, that winged decent /into darkness.

Very nice, Rick

[Rick r]

Thanks, Diego. I was shooting for that. Wasps have always had that sinister quality to me. Appreciate your read and comment.

[Patricia]

This has a wonderful beat and your word choices are awesome. Very dramatic and has a dark beauty. this is an excellent piece of poetry! Outstanding even!!!!!

[Rick r]

Thanks, Patricia!

[Patricia]

Always my pleasure Rick :)

[John Anderson]

Smooth as silk, full of excellent phrasing and vibrant imagery.

[Rick r]

Thanks. I appreciate your reads and comments.
rick