PENDING BILL: Z0-8135

This in all honesty is something I am fairly proud of. It was an assignment I did back in 2008 for my U.S. Gov't class. You may find it rather entertaining.

Dear Mr. President,

We, the citizens of the state of Utah, would like to bring to your attention the threat of a possible invasion, not of our enemy countries, but one that consists of our own citizens: a zombie outbreak. Therefore, we would like to pass a bill creating certain new laws and procedures which would go into effect immediately in the situation of a zombie outbreak.

This new bill would include three major changes to the current situation:

Any city with a confirmed zombie infection should make it their first priority to quarantine the city and any other surrounding area it may have spread to. This includes: setting up police barricades, preparing safe houses distributed all across the city for non-infected citizens, arsenals should be assembled in these safe houses for those not infected, non-perishable foods and supplies to last approximately three weeks depending on occupancy and the situation at hand.

According to this bill the government will be authorized to make swift and decisive action to contain and eliminate the zombie outbreak. Government officials will help citizens in quarantining the city if necessary.

After twenty-four hours of the initial confirmation of the outbreak, safe houses will be closed to all and any whether they are infected or not. However, those who are unable to make it to a safe house in the designated time allotted will follow the plan outlined in this bill. For more information on this policy, please read through pending bill ZO-8135.

Now that we have our introduction to our bill established, we must move on to what citizens must do if worst comes to worst and they find themselves locked outside of a designated safe house and in the horrific world now overrun by the living dead.

EMERGENCY PLAN

Listed below are the actions needed to be taken in the event that the nearest safe house has been sealed

1. In the event that you have missed the designated time of the safe house closure, remember to remain calm and find a shelter in close proximity to the nearest safe house.

2. Once a shelter has been found secure the area within a 20 yard radius, locking all and any doors, windows and/or openings that may lead to the outside.

3. Find a weapon of any kind (i.e. baseball bat, crowbar, gun, axe, etc.) and make sure to keep it within easy reach. Remember: Only use the weapon unless there is no other option available.

4. Find supplies within the shelter procured and avoid going outside at all costs. If no supplies are obtainable, locate a new shelter with supplies that are available and follow Steps 1-3.

5. If any other non-infected citizens are in a similar predicament, be courteous and allow access into the shelter. Remember: If the citizen appears to be showing zombie-like mannerisms, do not allow them access to the shelter.

6. If you cannot find any shelter available, find an isolated area, preferably free of any hiding places a zombie may have access to and group up with any non-infected humans.

7. It is recommended that a group size be between three and five persons. Make sure your group is nearby and read to defend each other at all times.

8. When night falls, keep at least two members of your group awake at all times while switching off between shift intervals, preferably between an hour and an hour and a half.

9. If there are no non-infected humans in your surrounding area, make sure to sleep in an area that zombies cannot reach with ease.

10. Make sure that you remain in an area that search and rescue teams can easily find you and reach you. Only evacuate your current vicinity if there are no other options.

(Pending Bill Z0-8135)