Contagious.

Contagious.

A Poem by Usuallyconfused
"

A haunted woman, with an inevitable future.

"
As I scamper through the streets
there's a woman I happen to meet
my eyes squint at her fiery red hair
her constellation of freckles surrounds the frown she wears

Like a soulless corpse she walks
in a gown for the sick, no shoes nor socks
I bring my head to her shoulder
the warmth of my own becomes colder

Craning her neck to meet my gaze
the woman can't seem to get out of her daze
I ask her if she's alright
that's when I notice her pupils are pure white

I step back in pure fear
on her face glides down a tear
no one else seems to notice her
they all walk by in a hazy blur

Suddenly she races ahead
as if all her thoughts are consuming her head
I close my eyes when I hear the bang
her scream rings out as my guilt pangs

I run towards her lifeless frame
the serial numbers on her bracelet proclaims
death had already stolen her under it's wing
my pupils begin to intensely sting

I look into my reflection by the broken glass
my soul no longer visible, my irises no longer last
my eyes widen in realization
her disease will become my fixation

© 2015 Usuallyconfused


Author's Note

Usuallyconfused
Feedback, criticism, strengths and weakness, si vous plais.

My Review

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Featured Review

I would have to say that the last stanza needs to be solid, so I will suggest some things.
Looking at my reflection in the broken glass,
My soul no longer visible (really like this bit), irises (create something new using irises, maybe say depleted)
that's when I realize (rework)
my future is now finalized (rework)

That's when I realize my distant future now finalized???

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Usuallyconfused

8 Years Ago

I will try to adjust the last two sentences, thanks.



Reviews

That's a beautiful piece.....well written..captivating...

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I would have to say that the last stanza needs to be solid, so I will suggest some things.
Looking at my reflection in the broken glass,
My soul no longer visible (really like this bit), irises (create something new using irises, maybe say depleted)
that's when I realize (rework)
my future is now finalized (rework)

That's when I realize my distant future now finalized???

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Usuallyconfused

8 Years Ago

I will try to adjust the last two sentences, thanks.
I enjoyed the story in the poetry. Create mystery, danger and bad ending. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry. Well-written and interesting tale.
Coyote

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Usuallyconfused

8 Years Ago

That means a lot to me, merci.
Coyote Poetry

8 Years Ago

You are welcome.

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164 Views
3 Reviews
Rating
Added on June 21, 2015
Last Updated on August 3, 2015
Tags: horror, woman, scared, pity, alone, sadness

Author

Usuallyconfused
Usuallyconfused

Narnia, Closet, Canada



About
Only optimistic when everyone else refuses to be one. But other than that... We're all going to die anyway. more..

Writing