"When Love Departs"

'When Love Departs'

 

'When Love Departs'

Listening to the echoes
Bouncing off the walls.
Resounding over and over again,
As painful teardrops fall.

And yet...in the silence
Nary a word is said.
Yet voices still... can be heard,
As she lies weeping on her bed.

First comes the ' I love yous.'
Then ' I need you by my side.'
These are heard...less often than,
'My love for you...has died.'

Next comes the sound of a slamming door.
As he calmly struts away,
Leaving her with no look back...
And yet the echoes...stay.

Nothing appears much louder,
Than the slamming of loves door;
Unless it is the painful words,
' I do not love you anymore.'

Valentine

Reviews

[R Smith]

great poetry Kathie, a doomed love story, you expressed the passion and loss so very well :)

[Woody]

when love departs everything turns black. you're very good at describing heartaches and love gone awry.
probably one of the best here.
kudos, my friend :)

[Valentine]

Watching the person that is being dumped on for so little a reason sucks. This nut later wanted my friend to take him back. Her little children were really mixed up. Later not knowing where daddy even was. Kathie

[Woody]

separation is bad enough but when children are involved, it's a crime. I believe that no matter what they had to stick together for the sake of the children.

[ANTO]

Your descriptive powers and your ability to bring the reader into a home that was once happy and now is broken, is unsurpassed here Kathie. Your pen bleeds emotion and the readers soak that into their very core. So very bittersweet Kathie. Well written. :))

[Valentine]

Thank you Anto. I used to try my hand at writing stories. Most were lost in my moving to Michigan after I lost my husband. My sister found it easy to hand things from the movers hands into the auctioneers hand mixing them up. I was lost then. No one should move before a year. I messed up> Kathie

[ANTO]

Aw - Im sorry to hear that Kathie. (hug)
:)))

[~]

Valentine, you have expressed well the sentiments of this relationship which has gone wrong. An unfortunate event that happens a lot. poignant write.

[Valentine]

I expect being dumped really hurts. Kathie

[andrew mitchell]

A strong poem of love and loss. In mind if you had the key to lock the door of these memories maybe one would have piece of mind or maybe a window where you could view it but not feel it

[Valentine]

My friend was the loser in this. Her two children did not see the dad for years. Kathie

[DoormanDan]

This poem does a great job at explaining some of the complications that can be brought on by love, and the stress that heartbreak can put on our lives. I have to say that my favorite part of this whole thing was

"First comes the ' I love yous.'
Then ' I need you by my side.'
These are heard...less often than,
'My love for you...has died.'

Fantastic job, as usual :)

[Valentine]

Thank you Dan. Thanks for taking the time to read my scribble. Kathie

[wordman]

you did a great job on this sad write
break up`s are a heart break

[Valentine]

Yes, specially when you are the one being dumped. Kathie

[Valentine]

This write was not about me. The idea came from a good friends marriage break up. Valentine

[Debra Stevens Edwards (..]

This is a powerful statement of love going wrong. As well as the pain and loneliness felt by the one left behind.
It is sad but true that life feels so shattered at the slamming of loves door.
Hugs Debby