Ends and Beginnings Of Years

the bright red devils

When we were on top
we smoked weed out
of aluminum cans.
I remember thinking
we could go
all night.

The new friend was
rich to us and he showed us
how to smoke weed like that.

A ski hill isn't meant to be tobogganed.
It's too steep to go straight down like that
and getting to the bottom we crashed
each of us on our own
over and over again.

At the end while I spun
Paul hit a pole and
security real or imagined
appeared so we sped
off into whatever.

Sometimes I see Paul
driving with his stupid wife
while the rich friend,
abandoned at some point
coming to an immature and
incorrect understanding of class,
flies fighter planes.

I don't smoke weed
out of a can anymore
because I heard it makes you forget.

Reviews

[noahbrannigan]

raw and felt. makes me want to be there

[Ruth]

Freely lived moments, nostalgic but not without a consequence, good or bad, smiles...epic xo

[emily joe]

This. Is f*****g perfect. I want to read it over and over again

[Samuel J. Fox]

I like the whimsical sense of freedom in this poem ending on a note of finality and isolation. This is a great sardonic piece. I would suggest imagery to allow the reader to visualize the irony and the situation more. I like the inclusion of the cans and pot (not just because I approve) but also because its striking and somewhat liberating to see it in writing.

[The Twin Arenas]

Yeah, I thought about that. I was worried that there wasn't enough about Paul hitting the pole to justify me thinking his wife (and him) were stupid. I tried out a few things, but I tend to write pretty sparsely when it comes to imagery and stuff. Also, specifically in this piece, I didn't want the images to be too strong or present, because of the last stanza. I wanted the forms to kind of speak for themselves I know what you're saying though, and I attempted it before posting.
Thanks for the read, man. Really appreciate the time you took with it.

[Samuel J. Fox]

Well I am always in the school of thought of Wordsworth in the regard to what you are saying: "poetry is an outpouring of emotion recollected in tranquility". However, I think that images are what make poetry as well as musicality and rhythm. I normally let the images speak for me instead of blatantly saying it, I mean why not let one image do what would take a sentence or two to do?

[The Twin Arenas]

or why not leave that image out, and let it create itself by what precedes it. I don't know. I try to give the reader just a shade of a feeling, and by that let them in the piece. I think some of my pieces have been kind of image heavy, like Borderlands, but for example, if it's raining in a piece, I'm comfortable enough that the rest of the piece will explain the "type" of rain it is, without having to describe the drop. To say it is raining is enough, in my opinion.

[Meraki]

Reminds me of every movie I've ever watched that consisted of adolescents growing up. I can't remember their names now but it's nostalgic. Kind of makes me wish I took advantage of moments like that.

[Laura Lynn]

my favorite detail was "the man was rich to us"...which I found to be genuine and surprising, I have often wished I had had a friend who had really had me smoke weed with them, but I was always afraid of it, once I was in a creative writing program and I tried to figure out how to smoke one puff but I had never smoked a cigarette and I got some smoke in my throat, it was a very disappointing experience, I was too afraid of what would happen to me so I didn't try it, I did not buy it either and wasn't good enough friends with the people to take theirs, oh well, I think they were having fun anyway having bonfires on the beach, I moved back home because I liked some guy there a lot more than I realized but he started going out with someone else, long story whatever, there's my two cents, most of the people I consider coolest didn't have some of the snags that I have though

[The Twin Arenas]

smoking anything takes practice.
snags and fetters are what we need to grow by
thanks for the read.

[ZackOfBridge]

This one struck me good because I used to smoke weed out of a can when I was younger and so much dumber. Love this poem dude, you're my favorite poet probably ever

[jacob erin-cilberto]

like this piece, everything is not always what it seems...and sometimes much better to forget what we never learned very well in the first place.

[Cory Barrett]

Sometimes forgetting is the best part of participating