Something Inside

Something Inside

A Poem by Bianca

I had the first stanza in my head right before I came home today. I felt like I should continue it but I fear I might have screwed it up...

Before you hesitate
Before you take
Another step in life
Another blink of the eye

To create something new
Those who challenge you
Avoid becoming among the Mute
They have lost the value of truth

In all of us lies something wonderful
The challenge is to recognize it
Don't let those who want to destroy it do so
Nurture and materialize it

Those of decay and rot
Will act in their plot
To deny you of your right
So be brave tonight
They will devour you
Only by consent
Defend defend defend

Don't deny or cry in vain
Don't envy others or decompose yourself
Death is not meant to be lived for
Don't beg for the end
Don't desire to be nothing

An epiphany
Another life is saved amazingly
It's not to late
No matter what stage in life
You can combat the strife

© 2011 Bianca

Author's Note

I know the rhyme scheme is a bit off, but it's still what I tried to write...

My Review

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I really enjoyed this. I particularly like the 'abrupt' style of the writing, it really brings out the postiveness your writing.

Posted 7 Years Ago

I really liked it, but I think it would have been better not rhyming at all. The ideas are great but I think trying to find words that fit together into a rhyme scheme is really limiting and this poem would be even better if you weren't limited in that way. I do love the first stanza and maybe you could keep some rhythms, I just think that if you had a bit more wiggle room in terms of rhythms it would be better. For example, in stanza four you really layer on the rhythm and I love the ideas behind the words but I think the ideas could come out much more powerfully if you took out some of the rhythms there. Anyways, loved it, thank you so much!

Posted 7 Years Ago

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2 Reviews
Added on March 18, 2011
Last Updated on March 18, 2011




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