It Began With Pain

It began with pain
Pain in the chest,
Tearing
Tearing
Ripping apart my breast.

Next it became
Hard to breathe
Gasping
Gasping
Through a blocked sieve.

Then the fever flush
And the aching chill
Shaking
Shaking
My health bound for ill.

After that, fatigue
like the sea's whims
Draining
Draining
The life from my limbs.

Finally, the still sleep
Peace in the quiet end
Resting
Resting
Never to wake again.

Reviews

[Anya]

Very powerful and quite eerie!

[** LIVE LOVE **]

Wow, what a powerful piece written with great espression. I loved the methaphors you used they made this write come alive! Chris
PS No pun intended :=)

[Carl Fraser]

Very nicely written, a different style but it draws together very well from beginning to end. Ive heard it said that we witness our own demise,and this captures that process very well..........Good write.......Blessings , Carl

[Rachel]

I read this poem right after your Post-War Purgatory, and they certainly compliment each other well. Your phrasing is effective and creates an attractive rhythm. Very nice work.

[Nancy Lee Shrader]

Sooo sad and hauntingly beautiful

Author: Nancy Lee Shrader

[emmajoy]

Finally, the still sleep
Peace in the quiet end
Resting

Remarkable words.. sad, sad words.. hidden thoughts..

[Lesley]

i don't know what to write
it is too good for words
so im not gonna write any
.......!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[nightmask]

I like this it reminds me of when doodle dies in the scarlett ibbis :_)