Couldn't Say

“I’m sorry.”

I knew it. Expecting it. Gun shot. Hot face. Burning eyes. Always rejected. Nothing ever works. 

“It’s ok.”

It’s not ok. Don’t want pity. Act Strong. Pretend. Hold it in. Tight Chest. Stomach hurts. Mouth dry.

“I hope you can move on.”

Can’t. Don’t leave. Not moving. You’re moving. Never works. Was Lucky. Too far in. Jerk. Head heavy. Heart squeeze.

“Yeah.”

Disagree. Lied. Can’t believe. Don’t know why. Won’t ask. More pain. Hang up. Stop. Don’t want to hear more. Go away.

“Still friends?”

No. Not done. Can’t end like this. Didn’t know. Didn’t want to think. Suicide. Annoying. What’s happening?

“Sure.”

Not sure. What’s going on? Another girl. Someone else. Don’t want to know. Prettier. Less-annoying. New girlfriend by next week. 

“I have to go.”

Not ready. Never ready. Always behind. Never catch up. Always being left. Silence is unbearable. Hang up. Say something. Do something. Don’t want.

“Ok, bye.”

Finally. You’re gone. Forgot to say. Shouldn’t say. Never say again. Call back. Say it. Be a dream. Be a nightmare. Come back. Shouldn’t end this way. Will never be enough. Never coming back. Gone. Gunshot. Dead. Lifeless. Need to call. Will say it. I will say it. I love you.

“I still love you.”

Author's Note

This is inspired by a poem that I sadly cannot remember the name to :(. I will eventually find the poem and the original author and provide the name, but for now if anyone recognizes this format and recognizes the poem please message me. Although my work is a very similar situation to the inspiration piece I have done a few things differently. Anyway thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed!! Have a wonderful beautiful perfect holiday!!

Reviews

[alifeacoustic]

Sounds like an internal dialogue in chaos with being consumed by thoughts of all the if's, why's and maybe's caused when we break up. The lood of thoughts, fears, mistakes and everything else we could have done differently, but didn't.
I like the style, like you are talking out your thoughts, which gives it a secretive feel to your thoughts. Great write.

[Abby L.]

Thank you so much! I appreciate your thoughts and comments. I'm very happy the feelings and thoughts I was trying to convey were received. I think when challenging and hard things trial our lives we stop worrying about little things and just have pure emotion. That's why I was trying not to use very many pronouns and other things, but I struggled so much I had to give in :l . This style is not originally mine, but I felt 'inspired' by seeing this type in a book. I am still searching for the piece that sparked my interest, so I can give credits to the rightful author. Anyway, again thank you so much for your review, I greatly appreciate it!

[alifeacoustic]

You're very welcome :)

[Tomás Ó C..]

Life and love, tears us apart... but we grow through the pain...

[Abby L.]

Thank you so much!