Missing by a whisker

Now I have always been someone
Who sees things the way they are;
One who calls a rainbow a painting
Drawn with ink over the sky;
And calls the moon a star.

I have never shied from contests.
Sometimes they go too far.
Like this one little dwarf I met
Who bet me a hundred bucks
And left my mouth ajar.

He asked me to do what he did
If I failed, I lost the bet.
He ran between my legs,
And asked me to do the same;
How I wished we had never met!

I'm very famous for doing things
The way they shouldn't be done.
I once steered a ship from danger
And left it on a cliff;
You should have seen the fun!

I am proud of the way I do my job;
And no sadness do I ever show.
People might say I just go wild;
I only miss by a whisker;
Thought I'd let you know!

Reviews

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

I think this poem is full of "cuteness." It provokes smiles and laughter and sheer joy. It shows spontaneity and a youthful exuberance as well.

Great job!

Linda Marie

[Adarsh]

I have read it before in the PL forum. But didn't review it there. :)
A bit queer a write but it was quite a fun to read it.
I think the way you've expressed life in a different shade here is amusing. :)
The lines are really very very good. I wanted to single out a line or two as my favorites but couldn't. And yeah, again, you've something new for the reader when it comes to the structure and rhyme scheme. :)

[RDOriginal]

This is very quirky piece of writing with some very surreal touches. In places the rhythm seems a little awkward but to me that adds to the effect. The narrator is clearly not bound by strict rules so why should the poem be bound by similar conventions?

The only slight weakness I see is how the tense changes between the third and fourth stanzas. The third is written as if the 'missing by a whisker' life is still relevant and continuing however by the fourth it's become something in the past, "I WAS very famous for doing things". It's only a small point but I like the idea that this odd mindset is for life!

This poem works very well in an absurd kind of way and my final comment is, we certainly need more absurdity like this in the world!

[Ruth]

The universal quality to this is amazing love:)
Beautifully expressed and really well written!
The essence of life experience taken, digested and mastered!
Great work
xx