My Blue Eyed Morning

With wistful eyes the morning wakes,

And shakes the last few tears of dew,

That trickle down and rend our hearts

Apart - an art that ne'er departs

From what is left of me and you.

 

The morning's lined by dreary skies:

Her eyes are drooped by sands of time;

Redundant specks that infiltrate;

That grate, berate and agitate

The clouds that spill forth rain of grime.

 

The morning's pulled by weight of dreams.

Like seams of snow on tired old wings-

The wings of aging butterflies.

They dry and cry and mystify,

To drown the sky and all it brings.

 

The night has slept and morning breaks,

And fakes her last few flakes of dreams;

For what is life for you, my dame?

You name your game and start to blame,

And finally, you start to scream.

 

You lit me up, but you are burning;

You could have been my blue eyed morning.

Author's Note

The extra syllable in the last two lines were necessary, as I wanted "morning" to be the final word. So the last two lines alone have a feminine meter.

Reviews

[Augustus]

Hmmm... I see pain here, and I think this is somewhat darker than your other writes... As usual the imagery and the flow is wonderful...what has always amazed me about your poetry is that it always seems to flow smoothly even if you do not adhere to meter strictly. Coming to the content, I think there are some subtle extended metaphors here...Looking at the way you have used the imagery (comparing dew drops to tears, for eg..), I see a lamentation about things that went wrong which could have been set right with a slight change in perspective. It is like saying that the morning is sad in spite of all the beauty around. The poet is mourning the fact that this metaphorical "morning" is spinning a dark web of imagined misery and getting entangled in it.
There is also a sense of gratitude there, especially in the penultimate line and generally in the usage of the word "morning" as an allusion. And the poem concludes with a thought about what could have been but never came to be...
"You could have been my blue eyed morning"
Lovely line...it is like saying "You and I could both have been happy if only you had ...."
The emotions have been expressed very elegantly, which does not surprise me since I am so familiar with your style! :)
Very well penned!

[Ashley.M.E]

This is such a great poem, The last lines really bring it together.

[Dinesh Sairam]

"You lit me up, but you are burning;
You could have been my blue eyed morning. "

Hehe.. I've known this idea from one of your other writes (Tears don't light a flame).. Awesome poetry :) Kudos to your imagination! (Do change the last two lines of the fourth stanza.. Seems a bit off). Write more.

[Ruth]

This is beautifully sturctured love
A really powerful poem that shows the reader a process!
Awesome!
xx