I AM A GIFT

I am that gift which was never opened

I am that treasure which was never discovered

I am that sun which was never seen

But in the sky it has always been

I am that heart that never got a chance to beat

I am that eye that never saw your face

I am that love who never felt your tears heat

But you don't want me in any case

I am that moon which never came

I am that star which never shine

After losing me you won't feel the same

You are throwing me away like a bottle of wine

I am that thing you don't want

You didn't give me a chance to call you ''mom''

I am the thing you want no more

I am unborn baby of yours

Reviews

[Adam, the Grub Street L..]

It is a moving poem against abortion (and there are some real corking anti-abortion poems out there).

I thought I'd try my hand at a small response to yours.

I am that screwed up person who was planted with a baby.
My life spirals down the tube and I'll drag you there with me.
I resent you and I hate you, I wish you'd never come.
How many times must I say, NEVER call me mom.

[mariah]

this made me so sad, especially the last part. it was beautiful and very touching. awesome job!

[Perfect Mistake]

Truly amazing poem. Great job :3

[Crazy Cat Man]

Wow. I want to send this poem. I was expecting a emo teen poem but damn I felt like this a poem about an abortion and unwanted pregnancy. Great job. I'm glad to read this now.

[Olivia Marie]

Great emotional poem. It all makes sense in the last stanza. Two things:
1. "I am unborn baby of yours" It needs a "the" between "am" and "unborn".
2. "You are throwing me away like a bottle of wine" I know what you mean behind it, however when I first read it, it made it sound like it was only thrown it to keep and hold the rhyme scheme. Otherwise, it was a great poem :)

[~Sara~]

That was a great poem. I loved how you expressed your feelings in this poem! keep up the good work and thanks for sharing.
-Sara.

[A. V. Madison]

What an amazing write. I was confused and was almost going to stop reading it, but something told me that I should continue. And I'm glad I did. "I am the thing you want no more/I am the unborn baby of yours". The brilliance showers upon the reader. Very intense. Very emotional. I love the point of view that this is written from. If I were you, and since this is a very successful piece, I would consider doing a follow-up poem from the mother's point of view. It could contain phrases like "I can't feel you, hold you, love you, heat you/In the sky you frown with eyes so blue/Emotion overcame, abortion too fast/I wish that our relationship could forever last"- like the mother was overcame with emotions and horomones, that she got the abortion without thinking about it, and now regrets it. You can even use that stanza if you'd like, I won't sue you or anything. In fact, I'd be flattered.

Anyways, Afra- in your profile it says "I'm just a normal person with nothing special," But darling, you are something special. This poem should be published immediately.

You could even do it from the father's point of view, with things like "It wasn't my fault," or "I told her not to, my child,". This poem opened up many new oppertunities for you, Afra, indeed.

Keep up the stunning work,
Maddie

[Matty Bosox]

This was very confusing towards the end there...But then it HIT me in a very pleasing and brilliant way....Such a terrific portrayal of an unborn child...You put excellent emotion and sadness into this poem....Every woman who thinks about not keeping a child and taking on responsibility should definitly read your poem...Great job

[Owlgirl]

Nice poem, you may want to look at the number of syllables per line to help with the flow, but over all very well written!

[Shauna Jacqueline Ander..]

This is a good piece, maybe a couple of little hiccups within the flow of it all, but generally a good write and a good read.

[Harley (arbiter)]

Intense. Full of emotion. Great write.