A letter to the end

Not a suicide note; maybe an ode to passive suicidality and wanting it all to be over.

It’s too hard, it’s too difficult
To feel, to live
Exist with the pain of feeling anything
Anything at all

If I only could die. Just expire.
Into the abyss 
No tomorrow, no worse or bad or better.
Definitely never “better”

Better is where the worse begins
A spreading virus infecting all promise
Until everything is heavy & bleak & black
Filled with doubt even when blinded by hope
The hope, the positive, the joy, the confidence

For it’s never real
It’s a cloak you wear to hide the doubt
And I am ever tired of trying.

So goodbye
And if I die
No more will the pain
No more will the fear & time & tire
No more will I

Author's Note

yeah, mawkish and self indulgent. But we all have those days, right?