Lost in the Flow

This is a poem more or less about the status quo and how its drained our modern society.

Push on and forth never loosing breath

Hanging on to life afraid of glimpsing death.

Looking high and low for every type of humanity

But only sinking deeper in the depth of insanity.

Copying manikins in a fleeting window

Bobbing to music, getting lost in the flow.

Making it "in" to be who you're not

And being yourself, your afraid to get caught.

Becoming so heartless, they have become cold,

With all of the needs of our flesh in our hold.

We are waist deep in what we've created

A dream we once called it, a dream that's outdated.

They are robots that ravage the everyday

Taking what's left of our innocence away.

Leaving none left, they tore us apart,

By our choices we fell and to ourselves we depart.

Watching each other laugh at the things

That only the thoughts of our empty life brings.

Don't you want more than all of this?

More than what we have decided exists?

Bring yourselves back to the modern reality

Cause every day is the epitome of mortality. 

Reviews

[Matthew Krymov]

Liked It.

[amdc101]

First I think its amazing that you managed to describe all that and still find words to make it rhyme. I give you props.

Second I just wanna say that once I started reading this I couldn't stop. I liked what you had to say. Great write.

[Truth_About_Rain]

Wow really nice flow, rhyme and meaning!

[Kerry O'Connor]

While this is a remarkable piece of poetry, I'm afraid it does not meet the requirements of the contest which are clearly stated in the rules:

CURTAIN CALL

This part of the contest is open only to those who have entered a piece in KERRY'S Sunday Challenges #1 to 5.

Unfortunately, it has been disqualified from the contest.

[J.A.Bentley]

The last line captures fully the whole poem "cause every day is the epitome of mortalitiy." This poem is as if you are trying to rouse a sleepwalking person to the reality around them, with the last line being the hammer blow. Great job capturing that image.

"By our choices we fell and to ourselves we depart." I think if you substitute the word "to" for "from" you will notice the flow of the picture you painted easier.

[Midori]

I like it!!!Well written as always.Keep it up!!